a bigger view

At times I struggle with this. Essentially posting my journal entries for others to see. And judge. But the way I see it is – if someone else wrote this, I would want to read it because it’s what I needed today. And it’s a little all over the place. But here goes.

God’s been trying to show me something for a month now. Okay, maybe three weeks or so, but that’s still a long time in my book for Him to keep coming after me with just a thought. And I didn’t realize He’d been coming after me for this long until today.

This morning I was led to read about the armor of God in Ephesians 6.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

The armor of God. How many times have I heard/read this? Literally having flashbacks of my Sunday school class at Mayflower Church. But You want to show it to me differently today. The words that You choose for us to pick up as our armor: truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation. And after I wrote down these words, I wanted to read the message version as well. Which literally spells out these words in its own sentence. Pretty cool.

“Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can  handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, faith and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep one another’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.”

In my brain when I visualize the armor of God, I view it as works we do to prepare us to fight. But it’s so the opposite. “…Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.”

with FAITH.

Just believing in what I can’t see can stop whatever Satan’s throwing at me.

This is a godly smack in the face today. In the past month, how many times have I been challenged with my view of Him? And every time, I believe that I think He’s big enough. But I get it now. I’m not yet in awe of His limitless power.

Mark Batterson put it this way as I was reading YESTERDAY,

“Are your problems bigger than God, or is God bigger than your problems? Our biggest problem is our small view of God. “Is there a limit to my power?” Have you answered the question? There are only two options: yes or no.”

God’s been putting this question in my life for a month now. And every time I heard it, I felt like it wasn’t a question I needed to answer. Or I felt like I answered it within the boundaries of what I knew. “Yes, God. I know that you’re big and powerful.”                          But I guess today I accept it and ask it for the first time –

“God, give me a bigger view of you.”

In the heartbreaking situations that surround me lately. My friends who’s worlds are currently crashing and hitting what can only be described as rock bottom. When You just don’t make sense. God, give me a bigger view of you.

In the little problems in my day as a stay at home mom that feel so big. The moment to moment, “I’m so inconceivably grateful for my adorable children” thoughts that flip in an instant to, “I’m literally going to lock you outside – stop making noise.” When I have no idea what I’m doing. Today, or any day. This is a prayer that You answered so clearly for us. God, give me a bigger view of you.

In my ministry, that is more fun and fulfilling than I could even ask, and yet so draining, and so confusing. We are in way over our heads. And yet, if our bodies were floating above the water, we wouldn’t be relying on you to sustain and grow. God, give me a bigger view of you.

In my marriage, when the day to day seems too much and I’ve given 100% of myself to my kids and my house, and I don’t have energy left to put in the work as a wife. To not just recognize the needs of someone whom I’ve been called to love and cherish, but to act on them. God, give me a bigger view of you.

Give me a bigger view of You. That my faith in who You are can stop any attack coming against me. That it’s not up to me. It’s not dependent on the amount of time I spend trying, or that I use the correct vocabulary words when I talk to You.

You’ll move mountains when I believe that You’re big enough to move them.


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