what do I have?



My son has no idea how to look for things.

I used to wonder if this was just a “kid” thing – and then Olivia happened. If I tell her to find her cup, she’s got it in 15 seconds. I think all kids can be a little spacey when it comes to locking their eyes on whatever they’re supposed to be looking for – but Brady takes it to a whole new level. I’ve basically given up on asking him to go get me anything. It can literally be at his feet and he’s looking up on the ceiling for it. Sometimes it’s funny, and sometimes I want to pull my hair out. IT’S RIGHT THERE, MAN.

I have heard the love of God related to how we love our kids here on earth. I totally get that this is our closest representation of love. My children grew in my body and are a part of me, so that’s a pretty deep connection. But the more I keep thinking about this, the more I just feel like we are downplaying the depth of God’s love by relating it to our own. Because if I’m honest, I have bad days. And I lose my patience. And sometimes I take things out on my little people that aren’t their fault.

And thanks be to God, He doesn’t operate that way. Because just as I watch Brady aimlessly search for the thing that’s right in front of his face, I believe we do the same thing. I wander so often throughout my day acting as if the things that God has given me aren’t already in my hands.

In my head, I started relating how Brady aimlessly searches for the toy, the diaper, the snack, that is in obviously plain sight, and began wondering how often I do this in my own life. I wake up, start my day, and more times than I’d like to admit, I am acting as if I have to work for and search for His love and approval. For peace and strength. The amount of gifts that God has given us to keep in our possession is actually a little insane. And yet we still search. We wander through our day, our week, our month, working to chase down the thing He’s given us so freely.

Our enemy’s job is to steal, kill, and destroy. And he works dang hard at it. God’s given him space over some things in this world, and as hard as I try, I can’t always understand why.

BUT. There are some things that he just doesn’t get any right to. He tricks us into thinking that there are gifts he can sneak around and snag out from behind our backs – but it’s all a facade.

…For God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.” Romans 11:29

Irrevocable: Not able to be changed or reversed; FINAL.

What has God given you, or called you to?

I was listening to “Belong to You” by Iron Bell Music. The chorus says, “The enemy can’t take what I have, change who I am, I belong to You.”

And I wondered, “What do I have?” What do I have that the enemy can’t steal from me? I started making a list. A list of things that God has freely given; gifts that I couldn’t earn or work hard enough for. They cannot be stolen from me. They cannot be changed. They are final, in my hands – mine.

I have:

Strength in my weakness.

Salvation for my soul and my eternity.

Acceptance in the family of God.

Forgiveness for my every sin.

Citizenship in heaven.






The list may not be endless, but it’s a heck of a lot more than the words above.

Unlike the frustration I feel with Brady, God isn’t impatient with me. He isn’t rolling His eyes that I’m coming back to Him again for acceptance. That I’m asking again to be reminded that peace is available to me. He doesn’t run out of patience or gentle reminders of what His sacrifice paid to give me.

What are you searching for today that God has already placed in your hands?

Stop looking around you, and look up.

Look at what’s already been given to you.

You may be holding onto something else that wasn’t intended to be yours.

Let go.

Ask Him to remind you of the gifts He’s freely placed in your hands, that can never be stolen or taken away.


Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments, and His paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been His counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him? For from him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen.” Romans 11:33-36

2 thoughts on “what do I have?

  1. Love this! Love your heart. I related to this on so many levels. My 18 month old has been colicky his whole little life… I get so worn down, but then I hear that still small voice reminding me of how God has been patient with me- and that I have been that “colicky” unhappy child that wasn’t very grateful for what she’d been given. Yet he still loves me. Psalm 73:23-37. Thanks for the reminder!

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