dear mom: to be honest, I don’t see you

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Have you read these blogs before? I have. They are usually about being tired, or that motherhood is hard, or reminding me not to judge other moms. They’re all great. I read them and I cry because they find me at my worst and most tired moments.

Although the internet is full, I pray that these words find you at a time when you need to be seen.

Maybe it was yesterday, or last week, or right now. Maybe you’re hiding in the bathroom, or spending a few extra moments in your car. You know what I’m talking about. The days where it’s only 9 am and if you hear “Mom” one more time, you might just quit. (Whatever that means.) The days where your kids just can’t figure out how to get along. Someone is crying or pushing or being a tattle tale and you just can’t get your feet under you. Your to-do list is not only undone, but four more things have somehow been added, and also not yet done.

Where do your thoughts go on these days?

I’ll tell you mine.

They often look like: I can’t do this. I don’t even like my kids right now. How am I going to make it through the day? I’m not living up to any of the things I had hoped I would be. 

What do you believe in these days? About yourself? About God?

Regardless of what you feel or believe in the moment:

God picked you. He chose you.

He picked you to be their mom, and to be His daughter.

Yes, you.

You, with your temper that you just can’t get under control. You, feeling totally ill-equipped and unsure of how you’re supposed to discipline. You, who can’t seem to find any time with Jesus at all, let alone teach your children about Him.

He has uniquely chosen and equipped you to do everything you do in your day.  Everything He has asked of you, He will help you carry out. Everything. Changing diapers. Meal planning. Balancing the job that pays you and the job that doesn’t. Scrubbing poop out of places it should never be. Folding ten million loads of laundry. Packing lunches. Just keeping your eyes open… He’s chosen you. And He wants to help you. The only catch? You have to let Him.

Many of the other blogs I’ve read tell me, “I see you, Mama. You’ve got this!” And it sounds nice; but to be honest, it helps me zero percent. Dear person on the internet, you do not see me. I’m still here, in my house, dealing with all of this on my own, and I’ll likely never meet you.

But I’m here to tell you, woman on the internet, there is One who sees you. There is a Father who watches every hard moment that no one else will ever see. He cheers you on when you nail it, and He catches you when you feel like you’ve totally missed it. When you lie in bed at night and replay every moment you wish you could redo… to somehow be more of the mother your children deserve – He’s waiting to gently remind you that you are the one He chose for them. He wants to use your gifts and your flaws equally to love them, to teach them, and to somehow reflect His massive love.

It sounds so good, doesn’t it? I mean, I think so. I need to be reminded that I am their mother on purpose. And that God deemed me fit to be the one to love and raise them. But even more than that, in the unfiltered, broken moments I hope no one else ever sees – I need to be reminded that before I was anyone’s mom, I was first a daughter.

His. His daughter. Strip it down, pull all the layers back. The reason He wants to equip you for any good work is rooted in deep love.

See what an incredible quality of love the Father has shown to us, that we would be permitted to be named and called and counted the children of God!” 1 John 3:1

He doesn’t need you to get it all right. He wants to be your dad. To teach you how insanely loved you are. And it’s in that security that you can love the little ones entrusted to you.

You can do this. I know it. But don’t take it from me. Take it from the One who gave you the job in the first place. Your kids don’t need you to get it right, they need you to love and be loved by Jesus.

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.                                               And the best of the three is love.”                                                                                                        1 Corinthians 13:13

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