instead of seeking answers

photo-1508916250407-fa6810bd5e8bIt’s really hard as a parent to let your kids learn how to do stuff on their own. You know why? IT TAKES SO DANG LONG. You really learn where your patience level lies when your kids are putting their own clothes on and choosing their shoes. They pick the shoes, and you offer to help. “NO MOM, I’VE GOT IT.”  They struggle for five minutes, and then ask,

“Can you help me?”

“Why yes, I’d love to.” Now we’re late.

And this is why parents are crazy.

To be honest, I don’t mind helping my kids do stuff. As they are growing older and beginning to be more independent, I really appreciate them still asking me for help. I want to help with the big things and the little things. I want to show them I care and I want them to succeed. But in the end, I just love them as people. I want them to love me more than they need help from me. And I wonder sometimes if this is how God feels.

The truth is, much of my time with Jesus ends up with me asking something of Him. I’m asking for wisdom, for patience (Lord, please), for strength and guidance. He’s cool with that. He wants me to ask. He tells me to ask, to have massive faith and believe He can do anything. He wants to respond. He loves to blow my mind with His ability and His presence.
But there is more. He wants to give me more of Himself than just an answer to a question. God is not simply a problem solver. He watches all of the intricate details of our lives, and has a perfect plan for each of us. But if we’re not seeking Him along with the answers, we’re missing it. If we’re coming to Him only to help work out our situation, we’re missing it. 
So the question is:
Do I want more of Him than I want from Him?
God wants to be found. He is mysterious only because we can’t understand Him fully. He’s not hiding. He’s constantly chasing, pursuing, waiting for us to choose Him.
“God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.” [Acts 17:27]
He is not far. Maybe you feel like you’re spending time with God; praying, doing all the right things that you know to do – but you’re not actually seeking Him. You’re seeking what you think you need in order to accomplish whatever He’s asking of you. And all the while, He just waits. He is patient and waits to show us more of Himself when we ask.
God promises to us that He has good plans for us. Plans that are full of hope. Most of us know Jeremiah 29:11. But what are the words that come after this promise? What about verses 12 and 13?
“Then you will call on me, and come and pray to me, and I will listen you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” [Jeremiah 29:1]
It’s always been about Jesus. Not about purpose, or future, or getting it right. It’s about Jesus. To find Him, and to be found in Him.
God, I want to know You more than I want answers to my questions.
I want to grasp Your love for me more than I want You to work out my future.
I pray that I seek your face more than I seek what you can give me. 
Everything I need, everything you want give me, is a part of You.
You are love itself. You are peace. You are joy. You are my help.
Help me not to miss any of You.

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