dear jealousy: a breakup letter

photo-1483546363825-7ebf25fb7513Dear Jealousy,

Hey.

So I’ve noticed you’ve been hanging around a bit lately. You’ve really been making your presence known. At first it didn’t seem to bother me much, but I’m beginning to notice the little things turning into bigger things. And I think it’s time that we part ways. So please consider this your eviction notice.

Honestly, you’ve done your job really well. You sneak in subtle, and then pretty quickly make your intentions known. The world has convinced me that it’s just FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and everyone has it, and it’s normal and kind of expected.

You speak differently to all of us. You’ve made me believe that I have to be at everything all the time. You’ve convinced me that I’m supposed to want things I don’t have. So I wish I had their shoes. Or maybe their whole outfit… I wish my hair would look that good all the time. I dream about having any body type other than the one I have. It seems like their nails are always done, their house is always clean. Their kids seem well-behaved, their pictures are so clean and and organized and everyone looks happy. Also, they’re just so confident all the time and I’m so… not. You’ve convinced me that everyone else’s marriages are better than mine, so I begin to scrutinize mine and wonder what my husband isn’t giving me. I notice how everyone else’s friends seem so close. They’re always posting about each other and doing fun things together, so I just feel more left out and alone.

It just feels like life has just been so freaking hard for so long, and I don’t understand whyย they get to just keep living theirs without pain. How come God’s picked me to walk through so much?

The stories may look different, but your goal is the same.

You’ve kept us all so focused on everyone else that you’ve snuck in the real crime: discontentment with God.

Not just with the things God’s given me – but discomfort and doubt with His character.

Comparison, envy, jealousy… whatever you want to disguise yourself as: I’m calling you out today.

You are not just the thief of joy, you stealย everything from me. But the jig is up. Because the truth is, you don’t steal it. You just ask for it, and I give it to you.

You whisper that if I had more of what they have, I’ll have more joy. So I go shopping. If I just had less turmoil in my life, then I’d have more comfort. So I try to control my circumstances. If I had more money, I’d have more peace. So I work harder. Material, relational, spiritual – all of the things. If I could have anything close to what everyone else has, well, then I’ll have more of what I’m looking for.

But you lied. None of these things give me what I’m looking for.

Our other emotions have benefits. Anger, happiness, sadness, when dealt with in the right way, I can process through my stuff well. But you bring no fruit to my life. You work against everything that God put together.

So today, I stand up straight and acknowledge exactly where it is that you’ve taken up space in me. I’m taking a good look at my life and want you to know that my eyes are open. I see all the places where envy has rotted pieces of me away. So I’m here to remind you and to remind myself:

Since you cannot steal anything from me, I will no longer give it to you.

My peace, my joy, my identity, my contentment. My life doesn’t belong to me; it belongs to my Creator. Everything He has given me is out of His kindness, and it’s for my good. “A heart at peace gives our whole body life [Proverbs 14:30].”

So I choose peace because I’ve chosen Him. I have joy because I have Him. My identity is secure because I’ve been made in His image and redeemed with His blood. I am content because I have been given everything, and in Him, I lack nothing. These things are already mine in Jesus’ name.

I will no longer bend to your needs or your will.

When you whisper that I am not enough, I will remind you that my enoughness flows from God’s empowering presence. [2 Corinthians 3:5]

When you scream that someone else has more, I will remind you that because I am seeking God, I lack absolutely nothing. [Psalm 34:10]

When you challenge me to work harder to pass someone else’s success, I will stand tall knowing that God resists me when I am proud, but multiplies grace and favor when I’m humble. [1 Peter 5:7]

Your time is up and my insecurity is fading. You do not have any more power here.

Instead of needing more of whatย they have, I just need more of God, and less of me.

God’s given me absolutely everything I need to live out the life he has intended for me.

So thanks, but no thanks.

Your presence is no longer needed here.

 

Nice knowing ya,

God’s Kid

 

2 thoughts on “dear jealousy: a breakup letter

  1. This is so SO good!! I love reading your posts every week! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s