feeling unseen? you’re supposed to.

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Mother’s Day has come and gone. I wish there were a better way to insert laughing into text. Because I kind of just want to put a big LOL right here. Don’t get me wrong, I have a sweet family who made it a special day. But let’s be real, the motherhood gig is 24/7, 365, right? It makes no difference how old your children are. Even with the best husband and support system in the world, it is the most constant, exhausting, exhilarating, fulfilling yet draining job of all time.

We spent the evening trying to get my daughter to poop on the potty. Real life. You’re welcome. She screamed and cried as she has for A YEAR because she HATES IT. She’s scared. She’s potty trained aside from being scared of the number two deal. So if you have tricks, hit me up. I’m open for anything.

And so for a year now, I have spent countless hours in the bathroom. I have begun to make myself a cup of coffee and sit with her as she fights this natural part of life.

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Literally. I brought my work and a cup of coffee to the bathroom to settle in for the long haul. And there are times I just want to scream at the world – “DO YOU SEE ME?!” It sounds so small, but it’s exhausting and isolating.

And if we take a step back – so many areas of our lives fit that description. We feel alone and like no one gets it. We try to explain it to our people, but we know they’ll never truly understand. We spend our lives seeking validation and acknowledgement from broken people looking for the same. But honestly, no one truly sees me –  in the very best or the very worst.

But there is One who sees. The One who formed you, who made you a masterpiece simply because He wanted to. The One who “Keeps track of all my sorrows. He has collected all my tears in His bottle. He has recorded each one in His book.” [Psalm 56:8] Let’s be honest. The deepest tears are spilled in the quiet places where we’ve finally felt safe enough to let them out. In the moments when no one is around. And yet, He has seen them all. 

It’s in our most unseen places that we are fully known.

God knows we’ll be looking for validation and confirmation from other people. We get the privilege of hearing their words, locking eyes. But it’s different with Him. He seeks after us, but He doesn’t force us. And normally, we find ourselves most seen by Him when we have run from the other places that haven’t satisfied us. We run from the people who have disappointed us. They’ve hurt us. Or they just haven’t understood. They’ve maybe even tried to, but you know deep down, they don’t truly see you.

But God knew. He created us with a deep need to be seen and known. Without it, He knew we’d settle for the empty validation of others instead of being truly known by our Creator. So He allows this need in us to be unfulfilled by those around us. Because He wants to be the only One to meet that deep longing in us.

Most of the time, it feels like being a mom is full of the negative sides of the unseen. No one sees the work you do to keep a house running. No one sees the patience you tap into, moment by moment, to do your best to see your children. No one sees the moments when you find a room to hide in because you’re convinced the noise and the constant questions just might actually kill you. No one sees you cry when you drop them off at day care, feeling like you are failing them. No one sees the little details you keep track of so that everyone is taken care of and feel special. No one sees the potty training struggles, the late night conversations, the endless dishes and spills that are somehow constant.

But there is One who sees.

God sees my confusion and doubt when life crashes and doesn’t make sense.

He sees me when I fall apart on my bedroom floor, wrestling with anger and weariness.

He watches me release bitterness in the deep and quiet places no one else would understand.

He sees the moments when I raise my voice to my little people and regret it.

He sees my guilt and shame as I make decisions that I know don’t glorify Him and definitely don’t edify me.

He sees the moments where anxiety takes over, and I am not sure if I’ll win this battle.

And then He watches with pride as I ask my three year old for forgiveness. He sees the small moments where I instill His character and heart into them.

He stands by and waits as I finally lean into surrender, quietly, slowly, steadily.

We can have an unshakeable security knowing that our every move has been acknowledged by the King of Heaven. Each missed step is met with loving eyes and grace. Every beautiful moment is captured by Him. Our best and worst moments are literally recorded by the Creator of the world.

God was given the name of “The God who sees” in the very first book of the Bible. [Genesis 16] And the woman who was given the space and privilege to name Him was a runaway, abused pregnant woman. Hagar was alone, isolated, and completely unseen. Devalued. Used. Hurt and scared. And yet the angel of the Lord tracked her down to speak into her life, and in her most vulnerable and isolated moment, she knew she was finally seen.

The beauty is in the unseen. The promises lie in the unseen places. Don’t for a second believe the lies that you are alone. That your most broken moments are yours alone to deal with. The God of heaven is actively present in your life. He’s in the moments worth celebrating and those you wish you could write out of your story.

And Hagar? The nobody who got to give God a beautiful, personal name that we get to take hold of as our own? God told her to name her son Ishmael: “God hears.”

Don’t miss it. He is not passively watching. As if the world is some movie He props back and flips on for entertainment. He sees with intentionality, with an eagerness to hear you respond. He is actively waiting for a response from you. He is longing to listen to you. To allow you the space to be fully and deeply seen and known.

He’s waiting for you to allow Him to open your eyes. To notice His presence in each moment, so that you might know truly who He is. And He’s waiting for a response. He sees, He hears, He listens. And He responds.

 

Lord, you know everything there is to know about me.
You perceive every movement of my heart and soul,
and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind.
You are so intimately aware of me, Lord.
You read my heart like an open book
and you know all the words I’m about to speak
before I even start a sentence!
You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.

Psalm 139:1-4 TPT

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