Okay, so I had an okay blog post all ready to go for you yesterday. I wasn’t thrilled with it. Maybe I won’t be thrilled with this one, either. I guess we’ll find out. But I was telling you all about enjoying the slow days of January. All we do is complain about how fast life is passing us by, right? Let’s celebrate the slow days!
And then, my daughter came down with the flu.
This is how I feel. I was doing good for, like, the first twenty-four hours. I was patient and loving in the middle of the night. I cleaned the absolute junk out of the bathroom without complaining. Y’all, the flu sucks. Yes, we all got the shot. And yet, here we are. Just so much yuck.
I do a lot of typing and hoping that you’ll read about how God is enough for your absolute worst case scenario. In your grief. In your walking through death and in your complete feeling of failure as a parent. In your broken marriage and your identity crises. We tend to seek out God in those moments. They’re so big; so over our head, it’s like we don’t really have a choice. God’s got to intervene.
But what about the days that are just… blah? Does He care? Is He rolling His eyes? What does He think about your attitude? Here’s what the Bible says in Luke 12:
“What is the value of your soul to God? Could your worth be defined by an amount of money? God doesn’t abandon or forget even the small sparrow He has made. What about the seemingly minor issues of your life? Do they matter to God? Of course they do! So you never need to worry, for you are more valuable to God than anything else in this world.” [Luke 12:6-7]
Here’s the catch with this promise: in order for God to show up in our “seemingly minor issues”, we’ve got to invite Him in. We’ve got to believe that He’s big enough to care about the small stuff. This isn’t even really about whether or not God’s interested in our bad day or not. It’s about our level of intimacy with Him.
Are we running to Him when things go wrong? Or are we running our mouths to our friends? Are we letting iced coffee or a new sweater try to settle that anxious and uncomfortable place in us? Or are we clinging to the only One who can truly comfort and strengthen us?
Before you jump to conclusions that I’m a rockstar in this area, let me just clear it up for you. My go-to comforts when my day is just not treading upward are coffee and cleaning. I know, I’m not on drugs and I’m not drinking myself out of my reality, but I’m still running to things other than Jesus to fill me and calm me. I drink coffee because coffee is made of love and magic. I clean to create the illusion for myself that I have some control. Well, and also to kill all of the germs. The flu is getting out of this house in Jesus’ name. But instead of running to Him with my frustration and my whining, I take matters into my own hands and I push that piece of our relationship away. And my frustration grows as I rely on myself to fix my crappy day.
Even as I’m writing it now, it doesn’t sound like much of a big deal. Friendships and coffee aren’t sin. But I’m telling you, these are the moments that deepen our relationship with Jesus. Instead of compartmentalizing His presence in the big moments of our lives, He’s desperately longing to just walk out each day with us. All of it. The traffic, the meeting, the doctor’s appointment you’re nervous about. The tension you feel with your husband and the weight you just can’t seem to lose. Your frustration with your schedule and your decision about which pillows to get for your living room. I’m serious. If it matters to you, it matters to Him. Because everything about you has everything to do with Him.
The best part? We can make the decision right now to change it. To let Him in instead of keeping Him in the Jesus box we’ve created. We can take that one step toward Him instead of taking one step away. Yeah, like right now. Wherever you are. Tear down the walls of the Jesus box by talking to Him in the car or in the kitchen or in your office. He can’t wait to hear from you. And if you need some words to help, you can borrow mine.
Thank you for hearing me however it is that I come to you. I’m sorry for relying on myself to get through. I confess right now that You are alone are my Comfort, my Healer, my Strength. Forgive me for not trusting in You enough to care about the things that bother me. Help me to remember that although You are my God, You’re also my friend. Help me to see my worth and my value in You. Right now, I’m just tired. Things aren’t awesome, and I want to allow you into that space. You are big enough to handle the smaller issues of my life. You owe me nothing, and still You give me everything. You are so good. Thank you for iced coffee and Lysol wipes.