the internet isn’t real life [what you may need to know for Mother’s Day]

I have the silliest confession.

I have to delete Tik Tok very often because I have zero self control. Those people knew what they were doing when they wanted to grab you and keep you.

Okay, but that’s not even the confession.

There was this trend going around for a little while with this particular sound. It was literally a few beautiful little chords on a piano and Ben Rector singing these words, “I don’t know who needs to hear this but, the internet isn’t real life.” Go look it up. It’s a seriously beautiful melody. The best part, though, is that the backdrop to this song was thousands of videos of women showing a perfectly put-together part of their house. But right at the end, the shot would pan to reality. Piles of laundry, toys, dirty dishes, real life.

Oh, wait. The confession. Guys. I first began this blog by telling you go find this song and listen to it. I searched for this song EVERYWHERE. Do you know what? I finally learned it wasn’t even a song. It was a Tik Tok sound of Ben Rector at his piano singing one line. It should be a song. It’s beautiful. I was so disappointed. I need it to be a full song.

Truthfully, though, I watched these videos for a very long time. I sat and I let the auto populated algorithm scroll me through video after video of (mostly) women showing the behind the scenes of what we see on social media. And I cried. I kind of shocked myself, to be honest. I know very full well that the internet isn’t real life. I know in my thinking brain that no one’s life is perfect. And yet, somehow, seeing it in front of me set to a beautiful melody, I was reminded that I didn’t believe it all the time.

I know the Truth. I know that there is no perfect mother. There is no perfect wife or daughter or friend. I know that all of us can put on a really beautiful face for the world to see. And somehow, I still needed a reminder.

So here I am, reminding you that the internet isn’t real life. And my guess is that your head tells you, “Yes. I know this.” But tell the truth. Have you felt left out, less than, not good enough, or any other negative emotion after staring at someone else’s life on a screen?

Mother’s Day is this weekend. And every single year, the weight of what these kind of days hold seems to get a little heavier.

Whether you are a daughter, a niece, a grandmother, or a mother yourself, more often than not, there is hurt or disappointment associated.

Much of that hurt probably wasn’t your fault. Maybe you feel a void in your life from the women who haven’t been there for you the way you had hoped. But I know the truth about how I have felt, and how so many others around me have felt.

Days like Mother’s Day are supposed to feel celebratory, and they often bring about feelings of insufficiency.

So many of our days as mothers are full of comparison and inadequacy.

We need to fight against this. We really do. I’ve said it before, comparison isn’t just the thief of joy; it steals everything from us.

Comparison steals our confidence.

It holds hostage our contentment. It butts heads with gratitude. It traps our focus.

It covers up the truth of God’s goodness and faithfulness to us, and shoves in our face that He’s been better to someone else.

Comparison lies.

This is bigger than the internet. We use social media as our enemy, and it’s really not. But it is a tool that the enemy is using.

So what do we do?

We begin with self-awareness. Sure, I may “know” the internet isn’t real life. I may cognitively understand that everyone’s life isn’t more put together than mine. But in the deep parts of my heart and my thoughts, what do I believe?
What do I believe about God?

What do I believe about what He believes about me?

If your answer is, “I don’t think I know”, then I’ll tell you.

The photo above is in my kitchen. A day where I looked around and realized my house was such a disaster, I was so overwhelmed. I took a picture, because we all need to see some reality. Do me a favor, though. Scroll back up. Do you see the light spilling through the windows? Don’t miss the beauty in all of the mess.

God is the source of all of our life; all of our light.

This weekend, instead of focusing on all that you may lack, fix your eyes to all that is yours in heaven.

Grab hold of one of these truths today:

You are a co-heir with Christ. Everything that is His is also yours. [Galatians 4:6-7]

You have absolutely everything you need to live the life God has called you to. God holds nothing back from you. [2 Peter 1:3]

You were not created to be self-sufficient. Your weakness is purposeful. [2 Corinthians 12:9]

You are not loved for what you do. You are loved for who you are. [Romans 8:35]

You cannot earn God’s love for you. [Ephesians 2:8-9]

“Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
He is mine forever.”
Psalm 73:25-26

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