September 8, 2013

Dear Baby,

 

I’ve written numerous letters to you in my mind and have never gotten to put them down anywhere else. Even addressing you as “Baby” sounds funny. I promise, we will find the perfect name for you. The best name that we will use to get you to sleep at night, to raise our voice when  you’re in trouble; the name that some girl someday will learn to love.

I can’t wait to be your mom. I’m scared out of my mind to be parent. To be YOUR parent. You already deserve more than we could ever give you. But just know, from before you were even a thought, you have been loved. I will never let you forget that you are loved first by God, and second by us. I’m already trying to work on giving you up – reminding myself that you are God’s child first. That for every stage of life you go through, I really don’t have the control. I know I will always worry about you. Sometimes I worry already how we will connect because you are a boy. But I trust that you are just going to be the sweetest boy ever. I promise to try really hard not to smother you or embarrass you. It doesn’t mean that I won’t… but I’ll try.

You are going to have the best dad. We are both a little clueless bringing you into this world, but I never doubt for one minute that you will always be his priority. I hope you will find ways to talk to each other about things that you can’t talk to me about. I hope that you know that he will always be honest with you, so you can be honest back. He will probably push you to be a tennis player, but I know that he will support you in whatever you choose to do. He will probably force the Gaithers on you, too. You don’t have to love them like the does 🙂 But I hope you have a love of music just like we do. You have certainly heard enough of it in your first 9 months 🙂 I promise to support you no matter what you choose.

I hope I can find a way to cherish every moment with you. I’m already scared of the days where you will be independent. When you have your first girlfriend, when you get your license, when you go to school, when you move out, when you get married. I promise to pray for your wife your whole life. I will pray for her until you meet her. I hope we can be close and that she will cherish family and love God even more than she loves  you.

I hope that family will always be important to you. You will never know much you are already loved. Your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, your cousin and cousins to be. Don’t ever take these people for granted. I know there will be times in your life where you may not totally get it, or your friends may be more important. But these are people who will always be here for you – who have been waiting for you and can’t wait to watch you grow.

 

Most importantly – follow God. I can only pray that your dad and I will be the very best examples of how to love God and trust Him with everything.

“Before I shaped you in the womb,I knew all about you.

Before you saw the light of day,I had holy plans for you:

A prophet to the nations—that’s what I had in mind for you.”

This is mind blowing to me. You are hardly even a person right now, and your plans are so much bigger than I could ever dream for you. You are meant for great things. To change lives. And no matter how that looks, we will be behind you.

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