Welp. It’s been three months since we’ve exchanged internet space here together.

That sounded weird. It’s true, though.

I took a very intentional 40 day social media break and somehow, it just kept extending. God also made it very clear that He was also asking me to quit writing publicly for that time, too.

If you have ever wondered if your phone has more control over you than you’d like, just assume that yes, it does. If you’ve ever wanted to take an extended break to see what happens, do it. I heard God more clearly in those days than I can remember for a very long time. And truly, so much has happened.

This post isn’t about the last forty-ish days.

But more on that later.

It’s about the last three years.

Over the these years years, while I committed to more consistent blogging and getting to know all of you, I was silently writing pages that no one would see until now.

Yep, I wrote a book.

WHAT.

Guys. This is not me.

I was reminded over this time that in elementary school, when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, “author” was one of the titles I considered. I used to write short stories and poems and I loved it. Somewhere along the way, that got a little lost.

What continued on as journal entries turned into a blog, and now, a book that I’m hoping you will hold in your hands.

This has almost nothing entirely to do with me becoming an author. That’s for me to celebrate.

What you get to celebrate here is God’s direct word to your heart. I have read this book ten thousand times. And every time, it moves me. Because it didn’t come from me.

This is crazy exciting news for me, but if I were you, I’d be asking one question.

Why should I care?

I’m so glad you asked.

If you have ever believed that God was good, but life stared you in the face and it wasn’t good at all…

If you have trusted that God was for you, but it felt like He was silent…

If you believed that God so loved the world, but the world felt a little bit abandoned…

This book is for you.

What do we do when what we believe about God doesn’t line up with what we see?

This is what Backwards was written for.

We’ve been told that the Bible tells us that God’s ways are higher than ours, and His thoughts aren’t like ours. What does this actually mean as we live out our lives?

The problem is, we are trying really hard to believe that God is who He says he is, but what we see around us and in us doesn’t seem to line up with those truths.

I am telling you, with every single fiber of my being, there is another way.

I found my life when I laid it down.

I found freedom and peace when, after struggling with disappointment and anxiety, I grabbed hold of these words:

“Those who cling to their lives will give up true life. But those who let go of their lives for my sake and surrender it all to me will discover true life!“

Matthew 10:39 TPT

I’ve prayed for three years that this is what you will find within the pages of Backwards.

We are called to live in a way that is completely backwards from the world around us. Jesus doesn’t do this to make our lives harder. He does it to set us free.

We are dying to find out who we are. Jesus died so that we may truly know Him.

We are grasping for control, when freedom is found in releasing it to the One who is actually in control.

We are avoiding pain and suffering, when our Savior said that suffering makes us more like Him.

We are begging the world to recognize us, when the Creator of the world created and defines us Himself.

Have you been feeling tired of grasping onto your own life?

There is another way.

Backwards launches November 17th.

Truthfully, It makes almost no difference to me if you buy this book or not. I didn’t do this to make money or be successful.

I wrote down words that the Holy Spirit deposited into my heart, and I believe He’s waiting to speak directly to yours.

I’ve prayed for you for three years, and won’t be stopping now.

God sees you.

He hears you.

He knows you.

And He’s ready to speak to you, if you are.

Let’s lay our lives down together to find them.