It doesn’t matter how long it’s been.

It may be 20 years. Maybe it was last year. Maybe even less than that.

If no one else has given you permission this season to grieve, that’s what I’m here for.

It seems like as the time passes, there’s an unspoken expectation that it should be easier. And in some ways, it is. Time does heal in parts. But there are scars on your heart from the things you’ve seen, and there are holes where their presence should still be. Memories that you now have without them. Whether or not anyone else knows, there will always be an empty place at the table for them in your mind.

You wonder how they would have loved to experience all the things you experienced this year. You wonder if you’ve honored their memory well. You keep looking into the future wondering how you’ll continue. Will it get easier? Will it be harder? And you have felt like no one else understands.

You may have even believed the lie that God has moved on. Maybe He was with you during the thick of it, maybe even after. But has it been so long in your mind, you’re sure He’s tired of hearing from you?

Here’s what He has to say:

“You’re blessed when you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.” [Matthew 5:4]

You may be right. There may be no one around you who can really understand. They may have forgotten. But I promise you, your God has not.

As you celebrate Christmas, God watches your heart long for hope again. And His promise is that the sacrifice of His own son “… was what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he’d see life come from it – life, life, and more life. And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him.” [Isaiah 53:10 msg]

On the very first Christmas, your Hope was born. The Hope and the Light of the world came vulnerable and needy, so that we would be able to relate. Do you feel a bit vulnerable and kind of needy? You’re not doing anything wrong. God’s plan in your life will deeply prosper because of the gift of Jesus.

He’s not asking to you to simply move on. He’s not asking you to ignore how you feel. All He hopes for is your trust. Not that you would trust in Him, but that you would trust Him. Trust that the integrity and the heart of God is enough for every place you feel you have lacked for so long. If He got you through the darkest time of your life, won’t He get you through now? He promises more than just getting through, though. He promises “life, life, and more life.” Your only job is to trust that in Him, more life is possible.

I know it feels lonely because no one else will truly understand. He understands.

I know it feels like you can never be whole again. His was wounded so that you could be healed.

I know it feels like real joy is out of the question for you. Your strength comes from His joy, not your own.

I know it feels wrong to hope for joy, and newness. But it is God’s best plan and His promise to you.

Can I ask you for a favor this Christmas? You may be someone who doesn’t like to ask for help or intrude on the lives of others. I’m asking you to reach out. Don’t allow isolation to lie to your already broken heart to tell you that no one cares. Someone cares. Maybe it’s a counselor. Maybe a family member. Maybe an old friend. Maybe someone on Facebook. Maybe someone you’ve always wanted to get to know and have been too afraid to try.

Trying may feel like too much right now. I know.

Try anyway.

Invite yourself to a Christmas dinner. Send a text to someone you trust and tell them, “Hey, this Christmas is hard for me.” Go see a movie.

The loss that you feel in your heart is big enough. Don’t let the enemy steal even more from you by making you believe the lies of loneliness. Someone cares. I promise. If no one else, I care. And your God cares.

The thought of a new year may feel unbearable. Another new thing for you to face without them there.

My prayer for you is that you would find Hope again. Let hope start small. He promises to multiply whatever you give Him, and make it so much more.

“After your brief suffering, the God of all loving grace, who has called you to share in His eternal glory in Christ, will personally and powerfully restore you and make you stronger than ever.” [1 Peter 5:10 TPT]

 

 

 

Have you ever re-watched a movie as an adult that you used to watch as a kid? If you’re anything like me, you suddenly notice all of the subtle inappropriate comments. You’re watching it with your kids, and you’re like, “Woah! How did I not notice that before!?” Or maybe you’re watching a classic that your mom always cried at when you were young. And before you know it, you’re crying! Suddenly, you get it. And at times you look back and ask yourself – why didn’t I notice it before?

You didn’t notice it before because you were a kid. You had to grow and learn and mature and think differently. You had to go through some things. You had to love and lose some new relationships. Maybe you had to have your heart broken, or have it grow and stretch as you brought people into the world. You had to go through some more life experiences to understand the power of messages that you just couldn’t grasp before.

You couldn’t know it then.

You weren’t supposed to know it then.

We do this so often with our own life. We learn a lesson and wish we had known it while we were going through it. It’s like that song, “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger…”

There are things in life that you just can’t know until you go through them. It’s more than just research or even godly wisdom. You couldn’t know then what you know now because of what you’ve been through. But when you’re in the middle… the whole “going through” part… it’s so rough. It’s open-ended, and confusing, and painful.

Your only role in the middle is hope and trust. You can’t know what’s coming. You’re not supposed to.

In fact, what you’re experiencing now? This ugly, in-the-middle thing? It’s God’s gift to you. I know… It feels like a punishment, not a gift. It feels like torture, and you’re wondering if God has forgotten you. But trust me, He allows trials in your life as a result of His kindness, not His anger. 

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so that you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” [James 1:2-4 msg]

He’s doing something in you that you can’t do on your own. He’s teaching you more about His character, about what the Truth really is. He’s gently showing you new parts of yourself. I know you feel like you don’t like yourself much right now. You wish you were doing it all better. The middle feels so ugly and so messy and you wish you just got the point by now, right?

You aren’t supposed to know. You’re supposed to trust.

And the beautiful, kind of horrifying truth? It never ends. You know that’s true. Once you get through this particular season, there will be another one to come to teach you even more. But if we’re honest, isn’t that the best part of life? It feels like the worst part – the whole idea that we have really no control at all. But it’s the fun and the adventure and the surprise of it all that changes and grows us into who we’ll be. And the beauty is that the bumps and pain of your life will be part of the healing in someone else’s story. Arriving isn’t everything. Growing in the process is the goal.

To you, who feel stuck in the middle. Please slow down and read:

You. Are. Not. Stuck.

Stop. Read it again.

Change your wording and your perspective on your own life.

You’re not stuck. You’re growing.

You’re not stuck. You’re in process.

You’re not stuck. You’re learning.

You’re not stuck. You’re expectant.

You’re not stuck. You’re being refined.

Don’t just wait it out – hold on. With patience and confidence, hold on for dear life. Grab tightly to the promise that God won’t just get you through. He promises to redeem everything you’ve lost, and to restore to you His joy which will be your strength.

“We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary – we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit.” [Romans 5:3-5 msg]

You can feel it, can’t you?

It’s like this slow rise, when suddenly you realize your brain hasn’t turned off in hours. Your thoughts are taking over and you can’t even make a list to organize all of them. You’re doing all the things, but you know it can’t keep going this way. At some point, it’ll catch up.

It happens slowly, but it feels sudden. Yesterday, I realized in a second that my mind had shifted from involving Jesus in my momentary decisions and choosing peace to – “Crap, I’m overwhelmed.”

And what did I do? I got more coffee. Duh.

It was 1 pm before I realized I had drank any water or had anything substantial to eat. I’m running my kid to a bajillion stores, frustrated that he’s asking me questions. I can’t engage or answer him when I can’t fit my own thoughts in my brain.

Before you write me off, hold on and hear me. I recognize that anxiety can often have its own mind. As much as you work to take your thoughts captive, there are times you don’t always have a choice in the matter. It’s too far gone before you even realize that’s happening. But whether we like to believe it or not, we still have choices. We have preventative and reactive choices. Unless we slow down in the moment to moment decisions, we will absolutely be swallowed. Our joy will be lost, and our peace totally erased.

But the Bible tells us not to be anxious, right? So we’ve made ourselves believe that we’ve got to be out of God’s will somehow if we’re facing anxiety. I am convinced we’ve twisted the words right out of God’s mouth in Philippians 4:6 when He says: “Don’t be anxious about things; instead, pray. Pray about everything. He longs to hear your requests, so talk to God about your needs and be thankful for what has come. And know that the peace of God (a peace that is beyond any and all of our human understanding) will stand watch over your hearts and minds in Jesus, the Anointed One.” [TPT]

God knew that anxiety and worry would surround us. He never told us that we could control any of our circumstances. And so often we fall into the trap of shame that because we’re being hit with anxiety, God must be disappointed. It’s just not true.

So, we’re anxious. Now what?

Honestly…drink some water.

Eat an actual meal.

Pray.

Choose to stop.

Priscillia Shires says it this way: “Resist the urge to continue.” 

We do not choose how anxiety comes to us. But we choose how we respond.

Unless we pause, we’ll never figure out why we’re so overwhelmed in the first place. If we don’t choose to stop, we’ll never remember that the Bible tells us to pray instead of worry. We’re so busy worrying and letting our hearts and minds fill with responsibilities, we’ve got no space for God. And definitely no room for the guidance or peace of His Spirit.

The older I get, the more precious the Truth of Christmas has become to me. The Truth and our Peace came into the world the same way we did. Honestly, Mary’s birth story could top all of ours.

God, in His all-encompassing love, joy, righteousness, peace and truth, allowed Himself to be wrapped, held, and led through life by parents who probably felt like they were messing it all up.

Every time we unintentionally invite stress and expectations of ourselves and others, we’re refusing His peace, His comfort, His freedom. We kind of hide behind ourselves during this season. It feels like we’re being selfless, but if we’re honest, we’re holding our reputation pretty tightly, aren’t we? If we’re super honest, the anxiety comes when we’re worried someone will be disappointed. Disappointed in us. That we couldn’t have it all together. The crafts, the food, the traditions, how much we spend, how well it’s wrapped… all of it. It starts off with good intentions to show love and slowly transforms into competition and stress.

The reason Christmas happened is so you wouldn’t have to be tied down to anything or anyone. Peace is a Person. The Person who’s offering to not only walk through anxiety with you, but to take it off of you. Will He heal your mind in a moment? Maybe. Will He walk with you through counseling or medication to find your healing? Maybe that, too. No matter what it looks like, I am absolutely convinced He cares about how you love yourself in this season, and how you choose His peace. We honor our Creator when we care for our own hearts, minds, and bodies.

Anxiety’s going to come at you. Our world is too busy and too full for it to be avoided. But you have something that not everyone else has. An offer for Peace that will stand watch over you. For Peace that sees your every nervous glance. You know that feeling when you exchange thoughts with your best friend with just a look? That’s how our God stands watch over you. He guards you. He covers you. He’s right there, waiting for you to turn and give Him the look that says, “I choose you, now. I choose Peace.” And His promise is that you won’t even be able to put into words the Peace you get to experience.

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.”  Isaiah 26:3

ps. I’m serious. Drink some water.

Bed time with kids… Do I need to say more?

Our oldest, as long as he doesn’t accidentally fall asleep during the day, will fall asleep within minutes at bedtime.

The three year old? Yeah, not so much. Nap, no nap – doesn’t seem to matter. She’s up, piling books and shoes and hats into her bed. She has to pee. She needs a drink. Her blankets aren’t on right. She didn’t give me a hug and a kiss! It is straight up painful.

And I mean, I need her to go to bed so that I can also go to bed. But it’s even more so for her sake. I know that she has to wake up early for school the next day, and we start a very horrible cycle of not enough sleep.

We often say that kids don’t know how good they have it. How many of us would be willing to take a nap in the middle of the day now!? Yes, please.

But when we are given the chance to rest, do we take it? For real. I’m not talking about a nap in the middle of the day. I’m talking every day choices. Instead, we fill our week nights and weekends so much that we aren’t home for 10 days in a row. We kill ourselves to attempt to have a clean house, so we never sit down. We know that a clean house with kids is an illusion, right?

The Christmas season just heightens all of it. The work, the busyness, the exhaustion, the never-enough-hours-in-the-day mentality. The unrealistic expectations that we place on ourselves of doing it all. Of having homemade desserts for every function, enough perfect gifts for everyone so that no one feels left out. Having your house perfectly decorated. Getting it all done in time.

I’m not saying all of these things are bad.

I’m just asking –

How are you?

No, for real. Because as I’ve begun to make rest a priority in my own heart, I’m amazed at the places I let unrealistic expectations take up residency in me. The idol that I allowed busyness and exhaustion to become. If I wasn’t falling down at the end of the day, well then I must not have done enough. And whenever God would slow me down without my approval, I just got irritated.

Today, I had plans to get some stuff done. And last minute, I was stuck at home all day with no car. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it’s harder than you think with little people. I began to wonder how I would have responded several months ago. I would have for sure been angry. And stressed. Because I am very important and have lots to do.

Instead, I made the choice to see it as a gift. Brady and I put on our bathrobes and watched a Christmas movie. We played catch. I cleaned my floors.

Christmas is an incredible time to be with family. To be a part of some magic and lights and everything else that comes with. But we will absolutely miss it all unless we stop. The lies that have come with Christmas is that busyness and exhaustion have to be a part. But our lives will pass us by and we will never have enough unless we realize we were never made to be enough. The more we push, and press, and run ourselves into the ground, the worse everything gets.

Our God gave us His gift of Sabbath, of rest, of a pause. He knew we wouldn’t ever stop unless He made it a command. And even then, we constantly ignore it.

What happens when we pause? I’m not talking plopping on your couch to scroll through email or Instagram. I’m talking an intentional position of your heart, rest for your soul, to remind yourself that God is God and you are not. What happens?

We are reminded of God’s love, His grace, and His sovereignty. 

When is the last time you’ve stopped and said to God –

“I’m choosing right now to not try to do it all on my own strength. God, you are good and kind and the way you love me is way beyond what I deserve. I recognize that You are sovereign. I trust that you can do more than I could if I kept pushing through on my own.”

Rest is putting your phone down.

Rest is waking up early to be with God.

Rest is saying no to that thing that drains you.

Rest is not responding to every single text message immediately.

Rest is surrendering your sick family member back to God.

Rest is a conscious decision to not spend anymore.

Rest is gratitude.

Rest is being present.

We’ve limited the ways that God can refuel us. In our minds, we make ourselves believe that because He is enough, we can run until we’re empty and it won’t catch up to us. God’s design is that we would pause before we’re depleted. Before we are out of space to love those around us.

I know you’re tired. I know you don’t even know how any pause is possible. But don’t believe the lies. Don’t get caught up in these next few weeks that you have to be stressed and exhausted. Don’t believe the whisper of the world that things other than the presence of God will fulfill you.

Don’t spin your wheels resisting the very thing you need. God’s inviting you to more… through choosing less.

“In returning and rest you shall be saved. In quietness and confident trust is your strength.” Isaiah 30:15

 

Let me ask you a question… are you already tired?

The Christmas season has just begun, but are you feeling spent?

Pulled, pushed, filled with expectations of who you’re supposed to show your love to. Trying to keep up with traditions and commitments.

We love Christmas, but it’s nuts. As a whole, it’s pretty busy and stressful and cluttered. We focus on our lists and our budgets and we do our best to teach our children that it’s not actually about someone dropping presents under a tree once a year.

I’ve begun to wonder how we’ve twisted this day; the most miraculous gift to mankind. This post is not to make you want to boycott Christmas. Trust me, I’ve been shopping and every surface of my house has lights on it. I am totally in. I was even in before Thanksgiving. I know. Forgive me.

But instead of teaching us how to give gifts, I am positive that Jesus was born in more than humble circumstances to the most unlikely parents to teach us about patience and process.

Have you ever thought about it? God’s son, the One who would unfairly die to save the sins of the entire world, had to first live and grow for over thirty years.

Hillsong United has the most incredible song titled Seasons. One line says, “You could have saved us in a second. Instead, you sent a child.”

Think about it. Engrained in the salvation of the world was a simple question from our Creator: “Will you trust me in the process?”

Through the Christmas miracle, God’s asking us to trust Him. 

Trust that every miracle takes time. That every promise He has made will come to pass in His timing. That although He can, He will often refrain from speaking and making it so in an instant. He will allow us to grow up, in time, learning from others around us, and trusting in His mighty hand.

The birth of Jesus had been building throughout time, and God used numbers of other characters to show us just how intentionally He would craft every detail.

When the whole world wondered if the promise would ever really come to be –

When Jesus’ parents doubted how or why it could possibly be them –

God had answers and promises for every question.

And it was wrapped in a seemingly illegitimate baby who would take over three decades to fulfill the promise of God.

Christmas feels busy and fun and bright, but the truth is, whatever it is that you’ve been waiting for hasn’t moved. The secret hope, the tired prayer for healing, the dream that seems impossible. What is it for you? What have you been waiting on?

Let the anticipation leading into Christmas remind you this year that God chose to save the world through a process of growth and time. 

We can show love to our Creator and to the ones we love by leaning into trust and process. By saying no to busyness and impatience, we are honoring the sacrifice of Jesus. Not just His suffering on the cross, but His willingness to humbly come to the world so that we could learn from His example.

“With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn’t late with His promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining Himself on account of you, holding back the End because He doesn’t want anyone lost. He’s giving everyone space and time to change.” 2 Peter 3:8-9

Nothing was wrong.

But I was suddenly standing in the kitchen, by myself, and it was quiet.

Do you know how rare that is? Chances are, if your life is even a smidge like mine, and you clicked on this link because your days are long… then you know.

It’s like this everything-is-wrong, but nothing-is-wrong-feeling. You made it to the end of the day. You find yourself breathing again and wonder if maybe you breathed all day. There certainly wasn’t any room for it. Even the intentional moments you set aside to breathe found themselves filled with worry or planning or mindless scrolling.

This is where I found myself – needing a breath. Trying to catch the ones that seemed to elude me for fourteen hours now. God, in His patient kindness, has been dying to show me just how to breathe lately.

It makes no difference if your life looks like mine; with little children who need you for their every waking moment. With people and responsibilities and relationships and a house that is never actually in order and goals to be healthy but also take time for myself to rest. And Christmas shop and stay in budget and meal plan and stay in budget and honor my husband who is worthy of all of the pieces of my heart.

Hear me: these spinning thoughts, these endless and cyclical moments will always be there unless we make choices. In the rare, holy moments, silence can find us. The end of the night when no one else is in the room and you suddenly know what you’ve needed all along. To be with Him.

But more often than not, the quiet doesn’t find us. We’ve got to seek it out. And it may not even feel quiet or silent on the outside. But on the inside, in the deep of our minds where all the thoughts race – this is where God is waiting to fill all the needs we didn’t even know were there. All the places that feel empty and used and exhausted, but we just think that’s normal. Everyone else is exhausted and unhappy and living out of a place of lack, so shouldn’t we, too?

No. You were created by a Father who gave absolutely everything so that you wouldn’t need to just survive. Your freedom that He sacrificed His son’s life for? It was simply for freedom.

“Let me be clear, the Anointed One has set us free – not partially, but completely and wonderfully free!” [Galatians 5:1 TPT]

Doesn’t that sound so good? Completely and wonderfully free. That’s how I’d like my days to feel. Yes, please. But guess what? Sometimes the days are still long. Some days nobody naps and you have to wait an hour to see the doctor and you spend twenty minutes scrubbing broccoli off the couch. Some days are just long.

But guess what? God is not concerned that you lost it today more times than you’d like to count. Or that you weren’t sure if you’d make it. Or even if you doubted if He’d get you through. His concern is if He gets to do it all with you.

As you dig for your breath, this is what He’s dying for you to hear:

I know it was a long day. I’ve been with you, and I’m here now. My grace is enough, it’s all you need. It’s not something you can work for. It just is. It’s always been. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.* So let me do My best work in you, right now. In your moment of weakness when you feel your lowest – this is exactly what I’m here for. I am the One who breathes life;  let Me catch your breath for you. Let Me hold onto you the way you didn’t even know you needed. Let Me in. I promise, if you let Me, you’ll learn what this whole living free thing is about. Maybe even more in these long days.” 

We’ve heard it all, right? The days are long, but the years are short. In the blink of an eye,  these long days are just memories we wish we had grabbed ahold of better. But the time passes no matter what we do. All we can do is embrace our weaknesses in the long days and the short ones. To allow our Father to be the breath that escapes us, the energy that is always out of our grasp, and the joy that we couldn’t come up with on our own if we tried.

So God, tonight, as we take a deep breath, and close up the day, we let You in. We confess for the millionth time – we aren’t Superman. Life has tried to convince us that maybe we can be. We want to celebrate every place we are tired and weak, and allow Your strength to come into its own. So fill us up, God. We give you permission: even as we sleep tonight, to be our everything. And we’ll wake up tomorrow knowing that your mercy begins all over again. What a good God You are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*2 Corinthians 12:9 msg

To you,

You, who are surrounded by people, but feel lonely.

You, who have so much to be thankful for, but still feel so empty today.

You, who feel like you’re supposed to be happy and thankful – but you’re just not sure how.

You have been through so much. It’s been a hard year. Maybe even longer. And you have done your best to walk through your seasons of growth and change with grace. Some days you do well, and some days you feel like a failure. You’ve loved, and you’ve lost, and you’ve wondered how you would make it through.

On this day, where the gap just feels so wide and long and never ending, I promise you, I am enough. For every hole, every wound, everything that’s broken. For every time you wish you had done better, for every loss that was too deep for words. For every single tear that has meant something, and even the ones you weren’t sure why. For every angry moment when you lashed out at Me or someone else you love and wished you could take it back. For everything painful. For everything confusing. I am enough.

Every scar you bear is proof of healing.

Yeah, it leaves a mark, and sometimes it feels kind of ugly and out of place – but it’s shaped you. It’s changed you. It’s deepened who you are, and who I am to you. Every scar has been allowed by Me. I never wanted you to go through the pain, but I am so thankful you allow Me to heal you. I’m so thankful you trust Me. I know I’m worthy of Your trust, but I also know that you have a choice. And every time you turn your face toward Me, I know we’re going somewhere.

I am grieved when you forget that I am enough for you. On your best days and on your most hopeless days, I promise you, all that I am is enough. For every void, every question, every painful memory, everything that brings about anger or even distrust in Me.

You’ve heard it said that following Me wouldn’t be easy. And you’ve begun to learn just how true that is. But I’m begging you to hold on. I have chosen you for more than your hardest days. The pain you see now cannot even compare to what I have waiting for you. Someday you’ll see what I see. I don’t expect you to see it now. But while you wait, trust that I’m as good as you hope. Trust that I have already given you everything you need to live the full life you want. Trust that My strength is enough for your every weak and fragile moment. I’m not disappointed or surprised when you feel like you’ve failed.

Our best work is done when we do it together in the waiting. I know just sitting in all of it and letting the process take its time feels like torture. Because I can see the end from the beginning, I ask you to trust and hold on. Your glory is coming.

If your heart is broken, I am near to you. You never have to wonder. It is my promise that’s been tested over time. I am the one who binds your wounds. I carefully take my time to wrap them, over and over, methodically and intentionally so that they will heal well with time. They will produce the scars that prove to you and others that I keep my promises.

I’m content to sit in this with you, even if you aren’t.

I don’t expect anything of you except to trust Me. I do not expect you to put on a happy face. I do not expect you to be all things to all people. I don’t even expect you to like it. But My hope is that  you will see Me for who I truly am – and through the Truth, find the peace and joy and healing you need.

“I am the Lord, who heals you.” Exodus 15:26

Love,

Jehova Rapha, the Lord who Heals

Your Dad

Anyone else have this problem with their kids?

You give them a drink. They drink, like, three quarters of it, and then ask for more. And you’re like, “Dude! There’s more in there. Drink that first and then I’ll get you more.” And then WW3 commences because – No, Mom, the cup is empty! Or – whatever I gave them is not what they wanted and now they want juice instead of milk. No one warned me about how hungry and thirsty these little people would be. All. The. Time.

I’m seriously convinced, though, that we do this with God.

We spend our days praying and asking Him to fill us up, to give us more of Him. Filled to overflowing. Right?

And this is exactly what He is hoping for. He can’t wait to give us as much of Himself as we’ll allow.

But we usually miss a step. Our cup isn’t empty yet. Just like my kids, we’re convinced we’ve left enough room for Him, but we haven’t. We’re unsatisfied with what we have, but we’ve forgotten how to let it go. And the most incredible thing about God is that He gives us the choice. He could do it for us. He could create space. He could force out relationships, and material stuff, and opinions of others, and anxiety and fear – but He gives us this power.

Our job is to be empty.

God’s job is to fill.

We wonder where God is, and why we don’t feel Him, but we’re totally full. And the reason why we don’t see it is because most of the time, we’re full of good stuff. We’re filling our lives with good things, but we still feel empty. Filling up with anything outside of God will result in weariness and emptiness.

We say God feels silent, but we often forget our own role in the relationship. We can’t neglect our part. We run, and busy, and fill up our minds and hearts with so much crap things get literally blurry before us. Meanwhile, our God is waiting.

He is longing to be absolutely everything we need. But we have to let go of the other things we think we need. We’ve got to intentionally take inventory of what is filling our life, our minds, and our hearts.

Let this be our prayer:

“God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways – the path that brings me back to you.” Psalm 139 23-24 TPT

God, empty me to be filled with You.

When I empty myself of comparison, He fills me with identity.

When I empty myself of feelings of worthlessness, He fills me with purpose.

When I empty myself of busyness, He fills me with rest and passion.

When I empty myself of anxious thoughts, He fills me with peace.

When I empty myself of relying on my own strength, He fills me with His strength.

When I empty myself of anger, He fills me with gratefulness.

When I empty myself of control, He fills me with perspective.

When I empty myself of me, He fills me up with more of Him.

 

What are you looking for from God today?

Take a look at what needs to first be emptied out. What is taking up His space? Let’s do our job so God can do His.

 

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:19

The horrible trap of having young kids is that most of the time you are focusing on one thing: survival. Everyone tells you that it goes fast, and they’re only little so long, so enjoy it now, dang it. And then your kids grow up and you’re running a million places and dealing with them as mini adults. No one can truly prepare you for any of those things.

No matter what age your kids are, or even if you don’t have kids at all, we’re all being pulled. We’re trying to do a million things at once and do them all well. We’re trying to make everyone happy, love our husbands, run a household, work a whole other job, maybe even serve in our church, hopefully have some other relationships outside of the home… oh, and take care of ourselves.

That whole “self-care” thing.

I’m not an expert. But I do believe that something that our culture is finally catching onto as valuable is something God’s been trying to teach us since day one. This idea that “You can’t pour out of an empty cup”. Unfortunately, most of us are pouring out of empty cups on an insanely consistent basis. It’s actually possible. But only for so long. I know you’ve been there. All of the sudden, it catches up to you and you realize you’ve been giving of your time and energy for so long, and you are just done. You are empty and depleted and suddenly, nothing is possible.

The bottom line is, it comes down to our choices. We’ve believed the lie that we are so busy, we run ourselves into the ground and all of it is out of our control. Guilt has consumed us and it feels like the only natural thing to feel anymore. We feel guilty for not spending time with our husband, and then when we do, we feel guilty for leaving the kids. We feel guilty for enjoying quiet moments because we’ve accepted the lie that we can’t really enjoy anything.

The truth is: no matter what kind of self-care we try to work toward, if we aren’t filling ourselves up with Jesus, our cup will remain empty.

Should you get your nails done and indulge on a fancy latte once in a while? Yes. Should you take a vacation with your family? Yes, please, Jesus. Should you turn a blind eye to your laundry from time to time and watch a few episodes of Parenthood? I hope so, because that’s what I did yesterday. It’s so valuable to breathe and do things that are fun and give us joy.

But if we’re bypassing true rest and a connection with our Creator, we will continue to come up empty. Investing in yourself; taking time for you and God is not selfish. Your body is His dwelling place on earth.

Neglecting yourself is not honorable; it actually dishonors God.

He created you in His image.

Your body houses His spirit.

He took time to make you and knit you together.

He cares about how you feel; physically, emotionally, spiritually.

This isn’t just about saying “no” to responsibility. We can’t reduce this idea to just “me time.” I need space and I need time without anyone needing anything from me to not go crazy, but if it’s just about me, I come back to my family just as empty. Whatever you are pouring out has to be refilled by the Well that never runs dry.

Whether they know it or not, those whom you love need this from you. They need a whole version of you, not an empty, worn out one. They need you to be strengthened by the Source of strength, not a counterfeit of fake energy.

How do we do this in real life?

We’ve got to prioritize. We’ve got to be intentional with what we’re doing: why, where, and when. Maybe bring some friends or mentors into the conversation and ask them how they refuel. Our God is spiritual, but He made us human. And He’s given us practical ideas and ways to think about living our life fully.

And we’ve just got to shut down the guilt. We’ll never truly live if we keep ourselves under this shadow of guilt no matter what we’re doing. It’s not helpful, and it’s not from God. He never asked us to be Superwoman. So let’s quit killing ourselves trying to be.

Accept help. Breathe. Pause. And live.

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your every day, ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going-to-work and walking-around life – and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him.”       Romans 12:1-2 msg

If you were anything like me as a kid, you couldn’t wait to grow up. To drive, to make your own decisions, to eat ice cream for breakfast without anyone telling you no. My son is five and constantly telling me what he’ll do when he’s six. And then when he’s seven. “No, mom, when I’m seven years old, I’ll put two feet on my scooter.”

The truth is, most of us want to bypass the hard stuff. Growing up is so hard. It’s awkward and unknown and constantly changing. Oh hey, so is being a grown up. I think that most of us haven’t lost this mentality though; we are still wanting to bypass the growing up. We’ve already done it, right? We’re grown now, but are we done growing? We look at others around us, maybe women who are older than us or mentors and we wonder how they’ve gotten where they are. How are they so strong? How are they so sure?

The truth is, they’ve been through something.

Think about who you look up to in your life. The ones who you’d like to be more like. The ones who make you wonder how on earth they turned out so immovable, so focused, so… fill in the blank. If you are a follower of Jesus, and they are too, they have been through some of the heaviest seasons.

Those who cling to the goodness of God and rely on Him always have a reason why.

You may be in the middle of it right now. It’s like you can see the beginning; where it started, and it feels like this slow drowning. You have enough faith to believe that God will get you out, but it just doesn’t look that way right now.

Do we want a story? Do we want to be an overcomer? Then you’ll need to go through something that needs overcoming.

Do we want the kind of faith we admire in others? Then we have to be patient with our own stories. Sometimes it’s not very reassuring to hear that God never turns His back. Because if His eyes are always on me, then why the heck is this still happening? If He’s always present, and will never leave me – why isn’t this fixed? Why aren’t I healed? Why am I suffering?

I can’t answer those questions for you. But I can challenge you to ask the question I ask myself when the truth that God is still there doesn’t seem to make it better:

Do I trust that God is all of who He says He is?

Over what I see, over what I feel, over what He’s allowing to happen.

You are not a victim in your own life. Neither are you the author. 

Our God is a good Father who doesn’t jump in to rescue us so that we’ll never feel pain. He disciplines those He loves. We have to feel pain to grow, to know compassion and empathy. And more than anything else, when we are in the midst of pain and growth, we are becoming more like Him.

“Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.” 1 Peter 4:12-13 msg

The Passion Translation says, “You are greatly blessed” when you suffer.

God cares about you enough to allow you to go through the situations that will draw you near to Him. He is so desperate for a relationship with you; for you to grasp that vastness of His love and goodness, that He’ll wait. He’ll allow His own heart to break, watching your pain, to let you go through whatever you’re going through for His glory.

It doesn’t feel like patience. It feels like abandonment. But if God is love, and if He sent His son to die to pay for your life, then your pain can never be wasted. Your silent seasons are never worthless. Everything you are going through now will be redeemed. You are redeemed by the blood of Jesus and the word of your testimony. Your story. Don’t you want a story worth telling? Don’t you want a story so far gone that only Jesus can bring it back?

Glory is just around the corner. Hold on.