This post is for you.

You, who have walked through fire and survived. You, who have experienced death and grief and are not just living, but have found joy. You, who have lost a child or a spouse. You, who survived trauma or abuse. You, who didn’t think you’d make it out of your depression.

This is a call to those of you who have seen the faithfulness of God through the absolute darkest moments of your life. I believe that your purpose is being fulfilled right now.

Jesus has given me the authority to address all of you because I’ve been there, too. I’ve been through the very real darkness, unsure if I would ever really enjoy life again. It came in the form of grief, loss, and anxiety. And all throughout that period of my life, there was a verse that would resurface. To be honest, it made me pretty mad. As I watched my family members suffer physically and emotionally and I struggled with God’s goodness and faithfulness… this is what He would remind me of:

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” [2 Corinthians 1:3-4]

Yeah. It made me mad. This didn’t seem like a fair trade to me. I was walking through immense loss and confusion, and I felt like telling God, “If this is all for me to be able to help someone else later, I don’t think it’s worth it. Count me out.” I’m not proud of that attitude. I believed and hoped deep down that God would use my pain for good, but it all felt like too much to handle.

Anyone else feeling that way right now? Like it’s all just a little too much?

I have several friends right now who are walking through significant pain and grief. The kind that makes anyone on the outside feel so completely helpless. But to those of us who are now on the outside, we are not helpless.

The desperate grief is where true faith, endurance, and resiliency are built. So for those of us who have survived: this is not the time to be quiet. This is the moment to step forward and say, “I didn’t think I was going to make it. But Jesus was with me, and He’s with you now.”

In times of grief and pain, people don’t need someone to come alongside them and say, “I know how you feel.” The reality is that everyone’s experience is different. What people need to hear is that Jesus is with them.

You have the privilege of understanding deep pain and loss. You have the privilege of knowing what you needed during that time. You didn’t need someone to say the right words. You needed presence. You needed hope. You needed prayer.

Our loved ones are dealing with disappointment and loss. Some of them are processing through the very real loss of a family member. It feels as though joy, peace, and hope are stolen from us in pain. People need to be reminded that hope is possible, because while you’re in it, everything feels helpless and hopeless. But it isn’t. Those of us who have been anointed with the oil of gladness after the darkness of the valley understand the need for the Shepherd. 

We don’t have the right words to say. But we do know where to lift our eyes.

So if Jesus has healed your heart – if you have grown in your faith through your tragedy: the world needs you now. Weep with those who weep and point to hope.

If you walked through the shadow of death and you saw the sun again, we need to hear from you. Weep with those who weep and point to hope.

This is the time. This is the moment. This season is one moment in time where we get to see a purpose in our pain. Weep with those who weep and point to hope.

To those of you who may be reading this and you are still in the darkness of the shadow: listen to me. You will survive. Joy will be your strength and the Lord will redeem your purpose through your tragedy. Wait on Him.

I believe that Jesus is gently nudging those of us who have hoped for purpose in our darkness and saying, “Yes. Now is the time. I’ve chosen you to experience my comfort so that they may know Me.” 

You were not simply rescued from darkness so that you would live. You were called out of darkness for a purpose. 

So what is your story? How has He delivered you? How did He save you? How did He comfort you? We need to hear it. Share with the friends you know are suffering. Share it with a small group. Speak hope into those who aren’t able to find hope anymore.

Let Him use your heartache now, so that others may be comforted by the same Spirit who comforted you. There was always purpose. Step into it now.

It’s time.

 

“He called you out of darkness to experience His marvelous light, and now He claims you as His very own. He did this so that you would broadcast His glorious wonders throughout the world.”

[1 Peter 2:9]

 

This quarantine thing is getting a little old, amiright?

To be honest, I’m doing better than I was in the beginning, though. I cope much better when things are clear cut. I need boundaries and structure. My mental health feels more stable because there have been less changes lately.

In my house, we are finding ways to relax and finding ways to have fun. We have all recognized that we need down time and space from each other, and all of that is okay. Even my little people need a break from each other, and I certainly need a break from them.

This quarantine has hopefully opened our eyes to our schedules and our busyness. It’s show us what truly is essential in our lives and what we don’t truly need.

But I’m afraid that this whole season has grown a bigger secret in the majority of us.

It’s eating away at us on the inside, and most of us aren’t even aware of it.

It’s the secret of comparison.

I’d be willing to bet that more of us are on social media than ever before. It’s a bit of a lifeline right now, isn’t it? We can’t do anything in person, so we have to connect through other creative ways. Zoom meetings, Instagram live, Facebook videos, Youtube… they’re all blowing up. One of my favorite things about this time has been to see people in their homes. Famous artists that I listen to are putting on concerts in their living rooms. We are seeing more of real life than ever.

But we can’t forget the truth about all of this: social media is still just a snapshot of real life. Even now, when we’re confined to our homes and it all seems a little bit more real, we see about five percent of what really goes on in someone’s life.

I believe that there are a lot of us that are feeling lonely. We see beautiful family pictures and think, “Man, I wish I had that.”

Young moms are being inundated with bottles and crayons and it seems like everyone else in the world is getting space to be creative.

Those who are still working most likely wish they had more time at home with their families. And those who lost their jobs would give anything to get out of the house.

You cannot compare your season to anyone else’s. It is impossible for me, with two young kids, to have the same kind of time and space as a woman with grown children.

Jealousy and comparison sneak into our lives in varying ways. We compare body sizes, children’s behavior, friendships, home decor, health, happiness, possessions… jealousy is not picky.

More than ever, this is the time to be present in our own lives. We don’t need to worry about how everyone else is thriving.

So get on Instagram for a few minutes. Watch some Tik Tok videos to make you laugh. And then put it all away and try this…

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” [Philippians 4:8]

Did you catch that random word in the middle? Lovely.

Focus on the beautiful things in your life. This is different than gratitude. Looking for the beautiful things keeps our eyes open and our hearts creative.

What is beautiful in your current life? If you don’t see it automatically, search for it. Create it.

When you’re aware of the beauty in your own world, you’re much less apt to be jealous of someone else’s beautiful life.

Thinking on things that are beautiful take practice and intentionality. It requires work to notice the beautiful tree outside of my house, because I see it every day. I’m beginning to notice the puffy clouds when the sky is its truest blue.

My kid’s laughter… most of the time.

Really, really green grass.

Something cooked in my cast iron skillet.

Watercolor paints.

Afternoon light in my kitchen.

These things are lovely to me.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to look back on this season of world history and have been so concerned with everyone else’s life that I have nothing to reflect on.

I want to see the beauty here and now. I don’t want to miss out on God’s presence in my own life because I’m so worried how He’s moving in someone else’s.

Contentment and joy comes when we fix our eyes on Him… not on them.

“So since we find ourselves fashioned into all of these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.” [Romans 12:5 msg]

 

 

 

 

It’s amazing to me that we are walking through this pandemic during the Easter season. There are so many beautiful parallels about suffering, darkness, hope – really, the resurrection story is relevant for any season.

I can’t imagine having been one of the disciples. We give them a hard time for screwing up, but the reality is, Jesus gave them a roller coaster of emotions! He was with them, He died, He came back, and then He left again for heaven. Then they had to learn what life was like without His physical presence. You’d think they’d waiver, right? We’d anticipate that they’d feel a little lost with so many questions. It’s truly the opposite. The gospels are full of twelve men asking questions and Jesus needing to explain Himself clearly. But the rest of the New Testament is full of stories of faith, confidence and miracles.

The difference? Trust. Complete, unwavering trust that Jesus was with them. They were confident in Jesus’ love and concern for them. They stepped out in faith and didn’t question His will. They acted.

I’m afraid maybe we’ve used the concept of “waiting on God” as a bit of a cop-out at times. We should absolutely use wisdom and listen to the voice of our Father. But I believe that our level of action is directly related to our level of trust.

In the very first chapter of Acts, directly after Jesus ascended to heaven, the disciples were discussing who should replace Judas. There were once twelve of them. Judas betrayed Jesus, and then hung himself. They discussed how the Psalms prophesied that they should choose someone else to take his place.

They didn’t pray on it for a week. They didn’t ask other people’s opinions. They didn’t do a background check or conduct interviews for good character. Here’s what they did in verses 23-26.

“So they proposed two men: Joseph called Barsabbas and Matthias. Then they prayed. ‘Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs.‘ Then they cast lots, and the lot fell to Matthias; so he was added to the eleven apostles.” 

What!? This was a massive decision. They were adding a very significant person to their tight-knit team. This makes it seem like they left it up to chance. They basically rolled the dice and let it decide for them.

It was absolutely the opposite. They didn’t wait for an answer. They didn’t wait for a voice or a feeling. They trusted the will of their Father, and they acted.

Nothing with Jesus is random or by chance. Their actions revealed the level of their trust.

Their faith in their relationship with the Almighty God, and their contentment in His perfect will for them gave them confidence to step forward without overthinking.

If you are faced with a difficult decision right now, bring it to Jesus. Ask Him to make it clear. Then – act.

“So now it’s clear that a person is seen as righteous in God’s eyes not merely by faith alone, but by his works.” James 2:24

Now, maybe more than ever, is the time to step into action.

What are you waiting for?

Are you waiting for God to make it clear for you to reach out to someone you think may need encouragement?

Are you waiting on God to tell you to help someone in need during these dark times?

Are you waiting for God to push you to take that first step in fulfilling that dream now that you have the time?

Are you waiting for God to take the first step in you reaching out to mend that broken relationship?

Are you waiting on God to open the door wide for you to receive some help through professional counseling?

It’s time for us to act.

It’s time to stop pretending that we need to tiptoe around God and His will so that we don’t fall out of His plans for us. We are not called to be timid, afraid to upset our Dad. We are His children, chosen and loved and set apart. It’s time we acted like it. Let’s let our trust in Him push us toward confident action.

God is asking for more from us. His will is perfect, and His plans for us are good.

What are we waiting for?

 

Can I be honest?

I’m sick of reading about the Coronavirus. I’m tired of hearing about quarantine. I’m tired of writing about it. I’m weary of hearing the word anxiety – and I’m certainly exhausted from feeling it myself.

I want to write about something fresh and new… but guys, this is where we are. We are in the most bizarre time of our life. I don’t know about you, but my mind is insane. In some moments, I feel so thankful I could cry. What a gift it is to have this time with my family. I’m so grateful. And then ten minutes later, I’m honestly wondering if I’m going to make it through or if this is ever going to end.

Am I alone?

I’ve been contemplating anxiety a whole lot as it relates to Jesus’ plan for our life. And I believe we’ve all been told that what we need in place of our anxiety is peace, right? Makes sense. Anxiety is fear and worry, and peace is the absence of both of those things.

But here’s the the thing. The truth about what Jesus says about His peace: He has already given it to us. Peace feels like something we have to fight for, doesn’t it?

I just think we’re missing something. We are fighting hard for something that already belongs to us. If you have accepted Jesus Christ into your heart, you have all that He is. And He Himself is our peace. His peace is freely offered.

Anxiety begins in one place, doesn’t it? In our mind. Yes, we absolutely feel it in our body. Our hearts are shaken by its effects. But it all originates in one place. Our thoughts.

I wonder if we are fighting for the wrong thing. We panic and ask for peace. But there’s more that Jesus is offering us; but this time, He tells us to ask. Ask Him for wisdom.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” [James 1:5]

Let’s be really honest here. Anxiety is irrational. Fear is very real, but anxiety twists our rational fears into completely blown up “what-if?” scenarios.

Anxiety screams, “SOMETHING IS WRONG!” when the truth is, everything is okay.

Anxiety settles heavy and convinces us, “YOU CAN’T BREATHE!” as you take air in and out of your lungs.

We need peace, absolutely.

But we need wisdom. Proverbs 2 spells it out for us:

“Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding.

Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding.

Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures.

Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, 

and you will gain knowledge of God.

For the Lord grants wisdom! 

Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go.

For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy.

Wise choices will watch over you.

Understanding will keep you safe.”

Our anxiety needs to be overshadowed by wisdom. The Bible refers to insight and understanding as treasure. A sound mind is valuable. Wisdom protects us. Keeps us safe. From our enemy and from ourselves.

Wisdom gives us perspective.

Wisdom grounds us back to reality.

Wisdom and fear cannot coincide.

Wisdom diffuses anxiety.

We need more than just comfort for our hearts. We need a sound mind. We need rational thoughts. We need truth.

Instead of fighting for peace as if it alludes us, let’s accept what is rightfully ours because of the sacrifice of Jesus. We have complete access to the One who is peace Himself.

This same Savior, who brought punishment on Himself so that we might have peace, is begging us to ask for wisdom. He can’t wait to give it to us.

There’s no other way to end this post than praying together for wisdom. I’m in it with you. I desperately want insight and understanding, so my mind doesn’t lie to me anymore.

God,

Today, we accept your peace. We confess that it is not something we can earn or live up to. It is a gift we have access to through your Spirit who lives in us. You tell us to ask for wisdom, so here we are. Our minds are racing and creating scenarios in our heads. Our thoughts are relaying emotions to our brains, and our bodies are reacting. We’re tired. We’re anxious. We need you. We need a sound mind. We need the Truth. We need understanding. You are the only One who has everything we need. 

So we surrender our anxious thoughts, our questions, and our own ideas of how we think things should go. Help us to think clearly. Give us understanding and insight and a sound mind. God, we trust that you have all that we need, and you are a Good Father who gives it to us when we ask. You alone are our safe place. Save us from ourselves. Rescue us on the terms of your promise. You alone are good.

Amen

Okay, you know that terrible feeling when you get the hiccups? Gosh, the hiccups make me so angry. I get them for a long period of time and they are violent.

I’ve tried all the things. Drinking water upside down, holding my breath… It’s Tyler’s favorite thing to try to scare them out of me. I’ve found one thing, though, that works every time. I’ve tried to look up the science behind it and I still don’t get it. The answer is peanut butter. My mom and both of my children have peanut allergies so I kind of hate saying it, but it’s just the truth. Somehow it slows your breath down. Or something.

Have you ever tried that holding your breath remedy? You take little sips of air and don’t exhale in between. I hate it so much. My lungs feel tight and my head feels like it’s going to blow and it never cures the hiccups for me.

I sat down to try to read a book yesterday and before I could even open it up, this picture of inhaling over and over came into my head. My brain was so full of words. I looked at the book and knew I didn’t have any more space.

It feels like I’ve been inhaling for two weeks. Holding my breath. Waiting.

I’m inhaling news. I’m inhaling technology. I’m inhaling the next change for our state and what it means. I’m inhaling resources for my kids. I’m inhaling ideas to keep our days creative. I’m inhaling recipes. I’m inhaling fresh new ways to do ministry during this time. I’m inhaling the heartbreaking situations of those around me.

And I’m just… holding it there. Over and over, trapping all of what life entails right now; the good and the bad – it’s just rushing in.

We hold our breath in the waiting. Unknowingly. Unintentionally. We’re afraid to move and unsure of what to do.

So to me and to anyone else who maybe feels like they’ve been breathing it all in:

It’s time to exhale. 

It’s healthy to take deep breaths. But without the exhale, the inhale just doesn’t work. You’ve got to take it all in, and then find a way to get it out.

We are starving for information right now. We’re dying for peace. We’re searching for it anywhere we can find it.

The beauty and the magnitude of God is that He does both. He breathes into us and He also gives us a place to breathe it all out.

What does this actually look like? What does it mean to exhale?

1. Pray. Duh. It sounds simple and like the churchy answer but it’s the only way. Vent to your God – all of the thoughts piling up and pressing in on each other in your head. Get them out. Give them to the One who is peace. Run to Jesus.
2. Find a creative outlet. Journal, paint, make music, dance? I want to laugh out loud at that last one because it is one gift that God just did not give me. But whatever it is that feels like a physical exhale for you, do that. A lot.
3. Reach out to your people. Don’t post your stuff on Instagram. Can I offer one more suggestion? Find a way to video chat your people. Right now we are in dire need of as much face to face connection as we can get. Texting is not going to cut it. We need to be looked at in our eyes and be told that we rare loved and that we will be okay. Allow your people to do that for you.
4. Lastly, create space. It makes no difference that our schedules have slowed down. We can still make ourselves busy. So put your phone in another room or turn it off. Turn off Netflix. Find a way to get outside or simply just sit with no other agenda. Quit doing and just be.

So, sure, take in some deep breaths. But be sure to blow them out.

Let it out and let it go. It was never yours to hold.

 

“I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with His praise. 

I live and breathe God; if things aren’t going well, hear this and be happy:

Join me in spreading the news, together let’s get the word out.

God met me more than halfway, He freed me from my anxious fears.

Look at Him, give Him your warmest smile.

Never hide your feelings from Him.

God’s angel sets up a circle of protection around us while we pray.

Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see – how good God is.

Blessed are you who run to Him.”

Psalm 34:2-8 [msg]

 

I’m just gonna go ahead and say it.

This time is hard.

The best way I heard our collective situation was explained by Steven Furtick in his message this past Sunday. All of us are facing the same storm, but we’re not all in the same boat.

Some of you are nurses or police officers. You work in a grocery store. You are considered essential. And while you’re super grateful to still have a job and be paid, you’re jealous of everyone else staying home and steering clear of all the germs.

So many of you are simply on hold right now. You’re a teacher or you work in a restaurant. You own a small business. You have no idea what on earth this means for your job or for you personally. Every single moment is one big question mark, because how are you supposed to prepare for something like this?

Some of you are quarantined by yourself and going crazy. Some of you have teenagers and wish every day that you were by yourself. Some of you have newborns, and you don’t know how to feel about anything.

I can only speak for where I am right now. That’s the authority that I have. And my experience is this: I am a stay at home mom with little kids. At the beginning of this school year, I found nine hours a week that I had by myself. With a six and four year old, there were nine collective hours they were both in school. During this time, I got stuff done around the house. I wrote. I prayed. I listened to sermons. I sat. I breathed in space.

And in the past nine days, I have had effectively no physical space. The four of us are operating twenty four hours a day in a limited amount of square footage. Bear with me, okay? I so understand the value of perspective. Every single morning I’m asking God to remind me that this time is a gift. I love my family. I don’t need to fear tomorrow because He is in control. People are dealing with real crises right now, and in comparison, my “problems” should really be nonexistent.

I know all of this.

But what I feel? I feel trapped. I feel like my anxiety has been hiding in the corner waiting for the right opportunity to pounce, and this was it. The thing about anxiety is that it is so irrational.

Anxiety tells me something is wrong. But it is vague and unspecific. It taunts. It yells.

If you were to ask me what was wrong, I don’t think I could tell you. Because I don’t feel afraid. I don’t even feel worried.

Anxiety comes dressed up as irritability, tension, physical weakness, difficulty breathing. Our often body responds before our mind can comprehend what’s going on.

Anxiety tells us that whatever is wrong cannot be fixed, and it must be our fault. Anxiety yells that we will never get better. Anxiety tells us we are crazy and misunderstood.

If you’ve followed me long enough, you know I see a human counselor whom I love a ridiculous amount. She and God have teamed up time and time again to teach me, search me, and slow me.

You may not have that right now, but you have Jesus. And with Jesus, you are automatically given access to His Spirit; your personal Counselor.

“And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor – Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), to be with you forever – the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive because it does not see Him or know Him. But you know Him because He remains with you continually and will be in you.” John 14:16-17 AMP

You have access to Him right where you are. Right here, right now. I know you may not have space. I know you may have little people clinging to you or video calls that don’t seem to stop. The best counselors don’t throw opinions or advice at you. The helpful ones don’t work to fix your problems as soon as possible. They quietly take their time asking questions, allowing you to process and journey until you are able to answer the real questions yourself.

I believe this is what God is doing in so many of us right now. He is not barging in to “fix” us of anything; of our anxiety or worry or impatience.

Where anxiety yells, God whispers.

Anxiety is big and looming and feels all-encompassing. But God is near and He is gentle.

Anxiety is an intimidating bully. God is an empowering and loving friend.

There’s only one stipulation: we have to let Him be who He is. Unlike anxiety, He doesn’t push His way in. He doesn’t use force. He won’t yell over the noise. He waits for us to come to Him.

So hear me… don’t wait anymore. Find a way to get to Him. It may feel so impossible. Cry out where you are. Hide yourself in a closet or in your car. Vent to Him.

He assured us that life would be difficult. He isn’t asking you to like your situation right now. Instead, He is asking us to come to Him. Unfiltered, raw and honest. He is not looking for the Instagram-mable version of you. Be real with yourself and how you’re feeling right now, and be vulnerable with your most trusted Counselor. Allow Him to be your hope, your self-control, your patience and peace.

 

“For in this unbelieving world you will experience trouble and sorrows, but you must be courageous, for I have conquered the world!” [John 16:33]

 

I wish you all could have seen how long I stared at this blank, white screen while a cursor blinked at me.

I’ll save you the suspense. It was a long time.

I have so many things I’d love for us to journey through together, and no idea where to start. It looks like we’re in this quarantine thing for the long haul, so we should have some significant time together to process and journey. I want to talk about what’s practical. I want to talk about what’s spiritual. I want to open up space for us to talk about what we’re feeling and afraid to say.

Right now, what are you feeling and are afraid to say?

I’ll take a wild guess that at one point or another, you’re feeling anxious. We all are. Collectively, as a group, whatever kind of group we are… we’re unsure. We have no idea how to plan. We can’t get used to a new normal because it changes every few hours. We are trying to make the best of our situation, while working hard to remember that so many others around us have it worse.

Where do you think Jesus finds Himself in your story right this minute?

I’d be willing to bet that for most of us, we feel like our situation isn’t big enough to bother Him. We are inconvenienced. We are uncomfortable. But are we truly suffering? For the majority of us, the answer is no.

So here we find ourselves, day by day sliding just a little bit deeper into it all. In the chaos and the uncertainty and the anxiety.

There’s so much we have to learn about Jesus. There’s so many things about His character that we have got to grasp hold of if we want to truly live. Words like trust. Prayer. Grace. Strength. All of the things.

But do we believe that Jesus cares about our particular situation? About the tiny details of our lives that consume our thoughts? Are they enough to affect Him?

The answer has to be yes.

Anxiety is covering the globe right now.  I don’t believe that God is asking us to be unaffected. For those of us who face anxiety in our every day lives; I honestly believe it’s impossible for us to glide through this without experiencing some kind of fear or distress. I don’t say this out of a lack of faith. I just believe that Jesus isn’t asking us to remain unaffected.

As anxiety comes, He’s asking us to bring it to Him. To work it through with Him.

“Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful when Christ displaces worry about the center of your life.” [Philippians 4:6-7 msg]

Let praise shape your worries into prayers. I couldn’t think of anything more beautiful.

I would like to be settled down, wouldn’t you? I would love for my worry to be displaced from the center of my life.

How do we do it? Philippians provides an answer:

“…By filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.” [v.8-9 msg]

In other words, take a break from the news.

Get outside.

Listen to worship music, sermons, podcasts, whatever.

Get God’s Word in you.

Find things that make you laugh.

Seek Truth.

But in order for our worries to be shaped into prayers, they’ve got to be brought to God in the first place. Yes, the world feels upside down.

Yet, God still knows how many hairs are on your head. I’ve always kind of wondered why this was important. It isn’t because He can count really high. God isn’t intimidated by math. Y’all, think of how many of our hairs end up in the shower drain or in our our hairbrush.

The number of hairs on our head changes. The tiniest details of your life change every single day. And He is not unaware. 

He cares that you’re a high school senior and you’re missing out on a major life milestone.

He cares that you may need to postpone your wedding.

He cares that your job is uncertain.

He cares that you’re working from home while trying to homeschool your kids.

He cares that you had to shut the doors to your small business.

He cares that you had to cancel your kid’s birthday party.

The very hairs on your head are all numbered.

Let this be your beautiful reminder that our Sovereign, Just, and Holy God is interested in the details of your life. So bring them to Him.

Yes, even in a global crisis. He knows what’s really bothering you, anyway. He knows that you’re avoiding time with Him because you have no idea how to pray for something so massive when you feel like you’re drowning in your own reality.

Let your worries be shaped into prayers by the Creator.

Watch as a sense of His wholeness comes together for good. In you.

 

“What is the price of five sparrows – two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” [Luke 12:7]

Okay, so here we are.

I want to roll my own eyes at myself for taking an entire blog post to address COVID-19, but the thing is… I have to. We have to.

I’ll be honest. I have been downplaying the whole thing until yesterday. And now I can feel the anxiety settling in. And I know you feel it, too. It feels physical, doesn’t it?

Not in the traditional sense. Not even necessarily that you or your loved one gets sick. If we think that the panic is about getting sick, I honestly think we’re not looking hard enough.

The truth is that our control is being compromised. 

The reality of this virus is revealing so much about us, isn’t it? As individuals and as a whole. I believe there’s one thing that we’re not recognizing, though. We are giving into the panic of scarcity.

Those of us who call Jesus our Savior; we’re working hard to believe that He is in control and that He is a healer. We can probably get down with those words. But do we trust that He’s our Provider?

What are we showing the world when we fight over toilet paper and bread? We are giving into the lie that we won’t have enough.

Listen, I’m all about preparing. Have I gone to the grocery store myself yet? Nope. Do I want to cry about the prospect of going? Well, yes, I do.

But let’s get down to the real reason we’re all flipping out. Yes, there is a legitimate sickness going around and we have got to think and wash our hands and prepare. But the truth is that our schedules are most likely now out of our control. Everything in my normal routine is now cancelled for the next two weeks. I will have both kids home all day, ever day. Pray for us, y’all.

But not only that, my church services, events… all of the things that bring my people together are being cancelled. Yes, it’s for good reason, but it affects me big time. And I know it affects you.

We are being challenged in ways we would never choose to be. Some of us thrive in this kind of environment. Some of us shrink.

You have practical choices during this time.

First, trust God. This is not just an emotional response to make you feel better. This is a literal, moment to moment heart position of saying, “God, you are not only the Savior of my soul, but you care for my body and my family in every moment. You will provide what I need when I need it and I do not need to fear. You will show me how to help care for others around me. You are enough.” 

Second, educate yourself and then stop yourself. Yes, read. Yes, prepare. No, don’t be ignorant. But for the love, put your phone down. Stop googling. Take space from Facebook. It is adding to your panic and you may not even be aware.

Limit your caffeine if it causes your heart to race. Drink water. Eat a meal. This stuff matters.

Third, let yourself feel, and let it be hard. We are not expected to be unaffected. When everything in our normal routine is changing and it’s all completely out of our control, it’s okay not to love it. It’s okay to feel a little anxious. But dig a little deeper. What are you placing your trust in? Anxiety is coming at you? Okay. Let it happen. Cry. Breathe. And let God put you back together with His kind and careful hands.

Lastly, be grateful.

Yes, I said it. Be aware that your only problem right now is that you can’t find a bulk pack of toilet paper. Be cognizant of the fact that you are able to buy just about anything you need on a daily basis. Right now, as that might be compromised, just be aware.

Take every extra moment with your family as a gift.

Have we become so busy that we are lost when time has been given to us? Yes, we have.

Listen, panic is contagious. You have a choice on whether it stops with you. Feel, process, pray. Being the hands and feet of Jesus doesn’t always mean flying to a third-world country. Help those around you.

God is giving us an opportunity to strengthen our communities. To get out of our routine and to love deeper than ever before. Be kind to those in the grocery store. Pour out love and peace.

The best part of it all? We don’t have to manufacture this peace within yourself. He does that work for us. We don’t have to have answers. We just point to the One who does. We ourselves are not love and peace. But we have the One who is.

He is Sovereign. He is Just. He is merciful. He is steadfast.

And He is here.

 

“God, you’re such a safe and powerful place to find refuge! You’re a proven help in time of trouble – more than enough and always available when I need you.

So we will never fear even if every structure of support were to crumble away. We will not fear even when the earth quakes and shakes, moving mountains and casting them into the sea. 

For the raging roar of stormy winds and crashing waves cannot erode our faith in you. 

God has a constantly flowing river whose sparkling streams bring joy and delight to His people. His river flows right through the city of God Most High, into His holy dwelling places. 

God is in the midst of His city, secure and never shaken. 

Surrender your anxiety! Be silent and stop your striving and you will see that I am God. 

I am the God above all the nations, and I will be exalted throughout the whole earth.”

[Psalm 46:1-5 ,10]

Okay, if I were to have baby fever, now would be the time.

There are just brand new babies EVERYWHERE in my life. Seriously. And I’m talking brand new. Five days old. Five weeks old.

Newborns were always my favorite. They smell so good. They’re so squishy. They’re just kind of floppy. They stay curled up in a ball and you basically just hold them by their little bum.

I didn’t realize just how hard having newborns were until… like, now. I mean, I knew it was hard. I knew I was exhausted and stressed. I knew I was confused and had a lot of questions. But looking back, I struggled big time. I loved my babies but I felt some resentment. Nothing hurts me more than not being able to care for someone I love, and babies don’t always make their needs clear.

I know it’s different for everyone. It’s based on your personality and their little personality that’s somehow immediately larger than life. For some, it’s a cake walk. For others, it’s the most challenging time of their life. I’m writing the words to you that I needed to hear.

So just listen for a sec.

You are not a bad mom because you don’t love every moment.

You are not a bad mom because you’re not sure if you even like them sometimes.

You’re not a bad mom if you don’t feel like you have that mom intuition.

Most older moms are so well intentioned. Really. They may have overbearing advice, but they mean well. They don’t mean to make you feel guilty when they tell you to soak up every moment because it goes so fast. Truly. Every single mom says it because every single mom has lived it. No one can escape the reality of time. It all moves at the same pace, even if it feels like it ebbs and flows based on the season of life we’re in.

Please, please, please. Don’t feel guilty about not loving every single moment.

Being present should not be your number one priority. Your priority is needing Jesus.

Being present doesn’t mean you’re somehow un-human and you feel no frustration. Being present can only mean doing the best you can with what you have. Being present means truly loving with all that you are. And guess what? If all that you are in this very moment is anxious? Then that’s what you are right now. If all that you have is to take care of their physical needs and then you need to rest? Then you are loving them.

Love is not always happy. Love often feels confusing. Your lack of knowledge about what to do with your growing child is not a reflection of your competency or your love for them. Let’s all be reminded that Jesus’ mom lost him for several days and feel a little bit better about ourselves, shall we?

I understand. I really do. It matters that we don’t just wish our lives and our babies’ lives away. We’ll regret wishing it all moved faster. But we are human beings with limitations and emotions and moods. Oh, and also, we’re women. With hormones and such.

It’s. Hard.

Has God gifted you with a child? Then this is your calling. And this is what God promises to those whom He has called:

 ^“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.” [2 Peter 1:3]

He has called us to Himself. And He has given us everything we need to live the life He has for us. The only thing He’s asking is that we allow Him to be our strength in it.

It’s all a setup, really. A holy and magnificent setup of trust. God gives us these tiny little humans to care for twenty four hours a day. He’s given us the opportunity to trust Him in literally every second, because we have no idea what we’re doing. And as they grow, we continue to make the choice if we will let Him lead their lives or if we’ll try to control it ourselves.

My sincere hope for you and for me is this:

Entrust them to Him. 

All of them and all of you. You will get through this. Whatever season you’re walking in right now will change. It’s just the nature of life. Babies change. Kids grow. We all age. Instead of putting so much pressure on ourselves to be so present that we somehow slow down time, let’s let the inevitable happen.

Our time with our babies is out of our control.

But our trust? Our dependence on our Dad to lead us as we learn to parent? We get complete control here.

Let’s choose wisely and allow ourselves some peace.

Don’t worry about being present.

Instead, be desperate for a God who has absolutely everything you need.

 

“He said to me, ‘My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.’ So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me.” [2 Corinthians 12:9]

I had one of those moments again.

One of those parenting blips in time where God shows me what it’s like for Him as my dad. I mean, obviously, I’m not a dad. But He encompasses every and all things that I need as a parent.

Guys, four year old Olivia is just something special. We had a perfect storm this past weekend. It was a full weekend of late nights and early mornings. She spent like three hours bouncing on her best friend Lily’s trampoline. She then hit the wall. You know the wall.  She literally could not recover. I thought she was getting sick. She just made noises… not like whining or crying. Some weird thing in between. She didn’t eat dinner, which was pizza. How is this possible? She must be getting sick. She literally just wailed herself to sleep on me. I tried to make the transfer to her bed, which did not go well, friends. She just, like, thrashed around. I tried to lay with her. I tried to rub her hair. It was honestly comical. She literally growled at me. Laying next to her on her little bottom bunk, I finally said, “Do you want me to leave?” And she straight up growled, “NO!“

That was it. This was the picture of me and my Jesus. For the smallest moment in time, I grasped a fraction of His love and patience for me. My therapist’s words came back to me for the fiftieth time since our last session:

“He knows you’re tired.”

Any normal day, this little girl’s behavior would have been seriously addressed. Honestly, I still don’t know if I handled it right, but she was literally beside herself. She was exhausted and couldn’t find a way to just rest and be in her own skin. So I let her fight her way to rest. As she took it out on me, I just laid next to her. I didn’t smother her trying to force her to be calm. I didn’t discipline. I let her fight it out. I waited.

And oh my gosh, isn’t this what God does? He gently waits while we fight our human needs for extra rest. He gives us the space that we’re asking for, even though He knows we could use more of His presence. While we take it out on Him. While we get angry and cry and don’t even know why. He waits.

He knows we’re tired.

We fight internally because we want to be so much more than we are. We want to be stronger. We want to be more put together. We want to be in control. We fight hard to do whatever it is that we think would make God happy. To make others love us. Just like my little girl, we refuse comfort and flail around, convinced that we can find the strength within ourselves.

And all the while, our Father is whispering,

“Are you weary? Carrying a heavy burden? Then come to Me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with Mine. Learn My ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, and easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in Me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.” [Matthew 11:28-30]

Can I just remind you of the Truth today?

He knows you’re tired. He sees your schedule. He understands your responsibilities. He is not asking anything of you that you are not capable of. His word says it: He is easy to please.

You may feel like you’re not doing a good job as His daughter. You told yourself you’d wake up early to be with Him, and you keep sleeping in. You’re trying so hard to choose joy, but you’re just… tired.

He knows.

Instead of trying to push through and be something you aren’t, what would happen if you gave in and let Him be enough? Instead of fighting to prove yourself worthy or strong, what if you simply let it go and let Him be worthy and strong?

This is not an invitation to give up on what’s hard. It’s an invitation from your Father to shut down the lies of hustle and success.

Take a deep breath.

He sees you. He knows you. He understands.

Let Him.

 

“He understands humanity, for as a Man, our magnificent King-Priest was tempted one very way just as we are, and conquered sin. So now we come freely and body to where love is enthroned, to receive mercy’s kiss and discover the grace we so urgently need to strengthen us in our time of weakness.“

[Hebrews 4:15-16]