Disclaimer: This is not short.
Here’s where I’m at.
I went for a run yesterday and listened to two songs on repeat. If you don’t get anything out of this post, please get this. Go listen to “The Garden” by Kari Jobe, and “There is A Cloud” by Elevation.
For the past few days, I had been in a weird tired/overwhelmed/wanting to be grumpy phase. Things weren’t even bad. There was just a lot going on, and I didn’t feel like I was processing it well enough. Or maybe I just hadn’t found the right outlet for it all. So I busted my tail and booked it up a hill while listening to Kari Jobe… sound like an oxymoron almost, doesn’t it? And since then, the same thoughts have jumbled around in my head.
I’ve hesitated to put them anywhere because, once again, this whole concept is not original. But in this context, it’s meant for me to say to you.
You, my friend, who is feeling so dry you feel like you might just crumble in seconds into dust. You’re holding it together okay on the outside, but on the inside, you feel like you’re losing pieces of yourself every day.
You, who keeps hearing about what it could be like to truly have a relationship with Jesus, and it seems to constantly allude you, and slip just out of your reach.
You, who knows what it feels like to walk in step with Jesus, because you used to live that way. And maybe it’s been years, maybe it’s been a few months, or maybe it started yesterday – but you feel like you’ve lost it. You know what it is like to hear His voice. You know what it’s like to not feel like you’re a constant mess all of the time. But not right now.
Here’s what he wants You to hear. (Or, read, I guess.) Lean in for just a second.
Sometimes, I find myself irritated and bored with the Christian phrases we use. Being in the desert, the storm… God sending His rain. But while I listened to these two songs on repeat, I felt in my spirit that I needed to quit diminishing the power of what this means. For God to send His rain. And almost more importantly, why we need the rain in the first place.
God is so smart. He chose the examples He used on purpose. Duh. He knew we would know what it looks like to be in need of rain. To just be in need of water… What it feels like to take a shower when you’re just plain nasty. To jump in a pool when it’s 100 degrees outside. After running, or playing a sport, or working hard all day, that feeling of finally getting that drink of ice cold water.
And more literally, the rain is what the earth needs to survive. I know, this isn’t some genius revelation. But when I seriously began to think about those times when you can just feel in the air – “We really need some rain.” Everything’s dry. Towns actually create a water ban… limit your water usage at your house until it rains. But if it just rained all the time, we’d have to build another arc! We would just be flooded.
There would be no need for rain if something wasn’t dry.
“Rejoice in the Lord your God! For the rain He sends demonstrates His faithfulness.” Joel 2:23
My husband’s a tiny bit obsessed with anything and everything Elevation, so I got to hear a little bit of how the team actually wrote the song, “There is a Cloud”. The words to the chorus say, “we receive your rain.” They explained the meaning of the verses, and how there needed to be a reason to want to receive the rain. And one line they said stood out to me so much: “If you don’t need it, rain is annoying.”
So true! It rained here the other day, and I had tons of errands to do, and it made literally everything so much more complicated. But when it hasn’t rained in weeks or months, and everything around you is being affected, and the weather channel won’t stop talking about how much we need the rain, you don’t mind it so much.
I don’t know what you’re going through. Some of you in my life, I do. And you are on my mind. Guys, we would never know what it looks like to want to receive God’s rain if we weren’t already feeling dry.
Gosh, it’s so hard. You know what it feels like. You know where you want to be. Where you should be. Or maybe, you’ve heard other people say what it’s like, and you want to get there so bad. But what I have to believe is that God is not holding out on you just to see how far you can go until you break. He’s not testing you and seemingly silent just for the sake of “teaching you a lesson.”
He knows when you’re ready for the rain. You think that right now, you are as dry as you’ll get. He knows. One of the lines in “The Garden” says, “I realized you never left, and for this moment you planned ahead, that I would see Your faithfulness in all of the green.”
Let Him be your life. Not just a drink of water because you’re thirsty, but literally the only thing that will keep your spirit, soul and body alive.
“He has granted you life and lovingkindess; And Your care has preserved my spirit.” Job 10:12
I see you exactly where you are right now. I understand, if in this moment, that doesn’t even feel comforting. That you may wonder why I see you, and allow your life to be the way it is. That it feels like I see you from such a far away distance, and I don’t see and understand your pain.
Please. Please, trust Me. Maybe for the first time, maybe for the thousandth time. Look back on every other time My promises have proved themselves faithful. I promise you, with all the love I have, I do not find joy in this dry season for you, either. My heart is grieved to know that you feel distant. That you feel that I’m distant. It breaks my heart, more than it breaks yours.
But I love you too much, and I know you too well, to shower you with rain before you’re really ready. I know this is so hard to understand. I’m not asking you to understand, but I’m asking you to trust me. I am pulling for you. I am literally hanging on to every single word you say to Me.
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
I have to be patient here, too. Like a parent who has to show restraint by keeping their child away from the stove, or not buying every single toy just because it will make them happy, I know what’s best for you. My presence will never leave you. On that day you invited Me in, I’ve so happily been unable to leave you. I’m with you, always.
Wait on me. Don’t give up. I can hardly wait for the day when it will be time. To show you so much more of Myself. The day that all of this will make sense, and You’ll be grateful for My timing and sovereignty.
In the meantime, trust Me enough to get you through each moment.
“Know and become personally acquainted with Me; press on to know and fully understand the greatness of the Lord [to honor, heed and deeply cherish Me.] My appearing is prepared and is as certain as the dawn, and I will come to you [in salvation] like the [heavy] rain, Like the spring rain watering the earth.” (Hosea 6:3 AMP)
The One Who Sends the Rain